Welcome To The Middle

Sayreville Pet Adoption Center

2009-01-11T22:26:00.005-05:00

I recently updated my Facebook profile to share some pictures that I took at the Sayreville Pet Adoption Center. The shelter is located at 1400 Main Street in Sayreville, NJ. They have so many cats and dogs that need good homes with people who can care for them. Check out their website at http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/NJ63.html and fall in love with an animal today!

Take me home today!

Wow

2009-01-03T10:55:00.001-05:00

Most times we hear about child stars growing up to be total wastes of space. Not Curly Sue. This is Alisan Porter. My girl crush du jour.

HOBBYMASTERS!

2008-12-03T20:30:00.001-05:00

Birthday Goodness!

2008-10-26T23:27:00.001-04:00

We're supposed to do all of our favorite things on our birthdays, and since Monday is my birthday, I decided to post one of my favorite things (Jealous, Oprah?) here on the blog. Here's the beautiful Natalie Weiss singing "Quiet".

Funny

2008-10-12T10:07:00.000-04:00

Amidst the strangest week ever, I found this and thought I would share it. Enjoy!

You Got Served!

2008-10-07T10:00:00.001-04:00

Wow, Keith Olbermann lays the smack down on Sarah Palin. Wow.

Horrifying

2008-10-01T00:00:00.000-04:00

This is the second most terrifying thing I have ever seen in my life.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Terrifying

2008-09-30T23:59:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry, but this is the most terrifying thing I have ever seen in my life.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Celebrate!

2008-09-30T11:15:00.003-04:00

In honor of the first annual Judy Guilfoyle Appreciation Day, I've decided to post this little gem. It's the charming Cheyenne Jackson singing a medley of "Radames' Letter/Written In The Stars" at Seth's Live on Broadway. We love him.

Heidi!

2008-09-30T11:13:00.003-04:00

The beautiful Heidi Blickenstaff singing "A Way Back To Then" from [title of show] at Seth's Live on Broadway at the Times Square Visitor's Center. Check out www.titleofshow.com and check out this amazing show!

Britney's Newest Single!

2008-09-26T13:57:00.002-04:00

From the upcoming album "Circus", here's "Womanizer"!

NYC Stage Debut!

2008-09-11T18:20:00.003-04:00

That's right, I'm making my first NYC stage appearance ever on Friday and Sunday evenings at 8pm! Here are the details:

THE U.S - IFICATION
OF AMERICA CONFERENCE

Are you American enough to attend the U.S-ification of America Conference? This Patriots Day Week be the best damn American you can be and attend the U.S-ification of America Conference. A collection of short plays split into two play series with one agenda; poking fun at some of Americas past and present issues. Be American and attend the U.S-ification of America Conference damn it!

September 11 - 14

Buy tickets at:

Brown Paper Tickets
or call 1-800-838-3006

Pig Lipstick

2008-09-10T14:17:00.002-04:00

I'm a hockey player, so this Sarah Palin fiasco has been driving me up the wall. The fact that she's being linked to us in any way is gross. So on my Devils message board, there's been quite a political debate. I just wanted to post my comments from that board on my blog as well, b/c I think I've got some pretty good research in there that could be very helpful politically. Sorry for the length!

******************************

Here, in no particular order, are my Top 10 Sarah Palin "Inconsistencies" or as we call them here in New Jersey, "Lies".

INCONSISTENCY 1: Sarah Palin is a self described reformer who opposes earmarks and pork-barrel spending. Palin claimed to be against the infamous “Bridge to Nowhere” from the beginning. In many speeches since the RNC she said “Thanks, but no thanks” when it came to the bridge. The Alaska bridge pushed by Sen. Ted Stevens became a symbol of congressional misuse of tax dollars. It would have connected the town of Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport on it. Palin was actually for the bridge and only dropped her support for it after Congress canceled the earmark and Alaska would have to pay for it. The Anchorage Daily News quoted her on Oct. 22, 2006, as saying yes, she would continue state funding for the bridge because she wanted swift action on infrastructure projects. "The window is now while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist," she said.

INCONSISTENCY 2: Palin states that the firing of Walt Monegan, Alaska’s public safety commissioner, was not because he refused to dismiss her former brother-in-law, Mike Wooten, from the state police. Palin acknowledged that her administration had made more than 20 calls to the Department of Public Safety regarding firing Wooten. Members of the governor's staff and her husband, Todd Palin, had called and questioned Monegan about Wooten. Palin’s boards and commissions director, Frank Bailey, made a call to a trooper lieutenant complaining that there had been "absolutely no action for a year on this issue" and said that Gov. Palin and her husband were frustrated that Wooten was still a state trooper. This case is currently under investigation by the Alaska Senate Judiciary Committee.

INCONSISTENCY 3: Sarah Palin claims she is a reformer. In addition to supporting the “Bridge to Nowhere,” Gov. Palin billed taxpayers for 312 nights spent in her own home during her first 19 months in office, charging a "per diem" allowance intended to cover meals and incidental expenses while traveling on state business. Some reformer.

INCONSISTENCY 4: Palin said in her RNC speech, “But listening to him (Obama) speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or even a reform, not even in the State Senate.” Sen. Obama has sponsored or been a key co-sponsor of numerous bills, including the "Lugar-Obama nonproliferation initiative" to secure unguarded weapons stockpiles in foreign countries -- which became law in January 2007. Obama was also a lead co-sponsor of the Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act, and Sen. John McCain, a co-sponsor of the bill, thanked Obama for his work on the bill, which became law in September 2006. Obama also sponsored the "Democratic Republic of Congo Relief, Security, and Democracy Promotion Act of 2005" (S.2125), signed into law by President Bush on December 22, 2006. In the 110th Congress, Obama has so far introduced 59 bills for which he is the primary sponsor.

INCONSISTENCY 5: Palin believes global warming is not man-made. There is overwhelming evidence that global warming is man-made, a fact that even her running mate, John McCain, believes. National and international science academies and professional societies have assessed the current scientific opinion on climate change, in particular recent global warming. These assessments have largely followed or endorsed the IPCC position that "An increasing body of observations gives a collective picture of a warming world and other changes in the climate system... There is new and stronger evidence that most of the warming observed over the last 50 years is attributable to human activities."

INCONSISTENCY 6: Palin states that Barack Obama will raise everybody's taxes. In her RNC speech she states, “Taxes are too high, and he wants to raise them. His tax increases are the fine print in his economic plan….And let me be specific: The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes.” The non-partisan Tax Policy Center confirms that people making under $250,000 a year will in fact receive a tax cut under Obama's plan. Under $250k is the poor, the working class and the middle class. Under $250k is the American people folks.

INCONSISTENCY 7: From Palin’s RNC speech, “America needs more energy; our opponent (Obama) is against producing it.” Obama actually has an extensive energy plan. Highlights from his “New Energy for America” plan includes helping to create five million new jobs by strategically investing $150 billion over the next ten years to catalyze private efforts to build a clean energy future. Within 10 years save more oil than we currently import from the Middle East and Venezuela combined. Putting 1 million Plug-In Hybrid cars -- cars that can get up to 150 miles per gallon -- on the road by 2015, cars that we will work to make sure are built here in America. Ensuring 10 percent of our electricity comes from renewable sources by 2012, and 25 percent by 2025.

INCONSISTENCY 8: Once again from her RNC speech Palin stated, “I fought to bring about the largest private-sector infrastructure project in North American history. And when that deal was struck, we began a nearly $40 billion natural gas pipeline to help lead America to energy independence.” There is no deal to build a natural gas pipeline from Alaska. All that the governor obtained for her $500 million in state cash assistance is a promise from TransCanada that it will try to obtain federal licensing and financing to build the pipeline - nothing more than a pledge to try. At best, the first gas through the pipe is 10 years away. Doug Reynolds, an oil and gas economist at the University of Alaska Fairbanks, said the governor’s deal with TransCanada Alaska Co. to build the pipeline is useless unless there is also a deal with gas-producing companies to fill it, he said. Ms. Palin has refused to commit to limits on oil and gas production tax rates. And ConocoPhillips and BP have launched a competing pipeline company, called Denali.

INCONSISTENCY 9: From her RNC speech, "And I thought we could muddle through without the governor's personal chef, although I got to admit that sometimes my kids sure miss her." She got rid of the cook at the Governor's House in Juneau because she doesn't live there - so there is no need for a cook. Unlike all past governors who moved to the state capital in Juneau and took up full-time residence in the Governor's House just a few blocks from the Capitol, Palin and her family tried Juneau for a few months and then decided to return home to Wasilla.

INCONSISTENCY 10: From her RNC speech, “I got rid of a few things in the governor's office that I didn't believe our citizens should have to pay for. That luxury jet was over-the-top. I put it on eBay.” She didn't sell the jet on eBay. And she didn't make a profit as she and McCain later claimed. The jet was sold in August 2007 for $2.1 million to a Valdez, Alaska, entrepreneur through a private brokerage (not ebay) — about $300,000 less than a broker’s asking price, according to press accounts. Also, while Palin characterized the plane as an extravagance of former Gov. Frank Murkowski, who arranged for its purchase in November 2005, the plane saw heavy use transporting Alaskan convicts, according to flight records and interviews with corrections officials. When the state first began using the plane in November 2005, prisoner transport accounted for 58 percent of the jet’s use, and Murkowski’s office used it 23 percent of the time.

----(I'll stop my list at 10, it seems to be getting pretty wordy)----

So, for the McCain/Palin supporters who are quick to talk about Obama's inexperience, religious beliefs, Church background, and rhetoric, just please take the time to educate yourself about the policies and plans of your own candidates before you start to attack another. Palin has shown that she is not qualified to be a Vice President through her abuse of power and mismanagement of state funds. She decried Hillary Clinton's claims of media sexism, saying that it made women look bad, yet on a radio show, Sarah Palin laughed when a major political opponent of hers was called a bitch, and a cancer (Palin's opponent is a cancer survivor), and laughed again when a joke was made about her opponent's weight. She talks about Hillary Clinton making women look bad, and then laughs when a man insults a woman live on a radio show not once but three times.

McCain has shown poor judgement by selecting to place this woman within a stroke of the Presidency (pun fully intended). Their campaign talked about nothing but "Experience" before Palin was selected. Now the McCain/Palin ticket talks about reform (you all know the statistic about McCain voting with Bush 90% of the time, and while it certainly is a campaign talking point and something the media has also been floating, it still doesn't make it less true), change (from a woman who has never served in Washington but now wants it changed), and the importance of family (from a woman who doesn't believe in women's reproductive rights, family planning, funding stem cell research, or a comprehensive sex-education plan to help combat the high rate of sexual abuse befalling children). She values life but enacted an illegal wolf bounty program in Alaska. These are NOT the candidates for us. They can't be! I don't believe very many of us on this message board make over $250,000 a year (and if you do, maybe buy me some tickets), and those are the people that John McCain and Sarah Palin care about, have always cared about, and will continue to care about should you make the mistake of casting your vote for them.

Yes, the media has a gigantic hard-on for Barack Obama. Yes, it's the story they've been waiting to write for decades. Yes, they're spoon-feeding you all the information they want you to read to best frame the story that sells their spin. These are things that we all know. But taking out your frustrations with the media by voting AGAINST yourselves is foolish. Don't be bought by the media and vote for someone, Barack Obama included. But all you need to do is some under-the-surface research, which thanks to the internet, is easier to do than ever. Do this and you realize that McCain and Palin are categorically AGAINST everything that you need right now.

I was a Hillary Clinton supporter for the entire primary process, and beyond. But electing Barack Obama has never been more important. You can't give John McCain the potential nomination of 3 Supreme Court Justices. You can't give John McCain the authority to keep our troops dying for some transparent dangling carrot. You can't let John McCain keep ignoring our veteran's by denying them the benefits and resources they need once they've come home from duty.

Sarah Palin and John McCain might not see the importance or value in "community organizing", but Nelson Raver from Utah does. Because he is one. Nelson served in the Vietnam War, where he was honorably discharged after being severely disabled. He's served as a Veteran's Representative for the past 16 years, helping to find homeless veterans food, shelter, job training, and employment. He feels like McCain and Palin don't recognize his job as important b/c he's "just a community organizer". He also feels like he's serving his country whether it's in Vietnam or just helping one veteran. And how did John McCain actually fight for veterans? (I can't ask the same of Palin, since she hasn't served in Washington)

John McCain voted N (Nay) on four veterans benefits bills.

02/02/2006 HR 4297 Tax Rate Extension Amendment McCain voted N
11/17/2005 S 2020 Additional Funding For Veterans Amendment McCain voted N
10/05/2005 HR 2863 Health Care for Veterans Amendment McCain voted N
08/02/2007 HR 976 State Children’s Health Insurance Pgm CHIP) McCain voted N

McCain voted NV (Not Voting, Excused, Absent, or Present) on three other veterans benefits bills:

05/22/2008 S Amdt 4803 GI Bill and Other Domestic Provisions McCain voted NV
01/22/2008 HR 4986 Defense Authorizations Bill McCain voted NV
10/01/2007 HR 1585 National Defense Authorization Act McCain voted NV

(You guys love sources, these are from http://www.votesmart.org.)

Politics make people combative, they make people irate, and they make people take action. And all of that is good and healthy. This system, these processes, are what people have died for and will continue to die for. It's the freedom that comes with living here, and being a United States citizen. But please, don't take the vote that people have died for, and cast it for someone simply because you've been told to do so. Don't discount someone else's accomplishments as "party rhetoric" or "media sound bytes" if they're true. The media now is a propaganda agent and yes, they've chosen to back Barack Obama almost entirely. Doesn't mean that it's the right vote for you. Decide what you stand for by actually doing research and coming up with your own answers.

I've come up with my answer. And it's not Sarah Palin or John McCain.

That's why I'm voting for Barack Obama.

BRITNEY PERFORMS?!?!?!?

2008-09-07T08:16:00.003-04:00

Just found this secret rehearsal footage at MSN. It's a brand new song, and they're not sure if she's rehearsing for a tour or for a performance at the VMA's later tonight...but she looks GREAT!

Britney's Back!

IT'S BRITNEY BITCH!

Sarah Palin

2008-09-04T16:34:00.003-04:00

I decided I wasn't going to video blog about this one, because it's nice to actually type thoughts out once in awhile, although nothing replaces the act of physically writing something out.

I'm voting Democrat this November, and was a big Clinton supporter before Hillary's speech at the Convention, and I'm now supporting Obama.

When Obama came out and said "Families are off-limits, especially children," and then mentioned that his mother was 18 when he was born, I thought to myself "You know, he's right, let's just judge the candidates on their own merits."

Sarah Palin, however, CHOOSES to use her Down's Syndrome child, Trig, as a political prop. She wields that poor child like a weapon against liberals, and it’s sad. Bristol continues to be a news story because Sarah Palin has supported an abstinence-only education program and cut funding to help educate teens about pregnancy, yet continues to parade her in front of the camera with her shiny new wedding ring. 5-year old Piper was put in broad view of the camera, holding baby Trig and kissing his head. Don't tell me that it's unfair to get into family issues and then use your family and their stories, like Track shipping off to Iraq on 9/11 and your nephew Casey serving in the Persian Gulf, to shore up your political base and then bemoan the invasive "biased liberal media".

Sarah Palin is a power-hungry, dangerous woman who uses her gender as a shield when it’s convenient and as a battering ram when it’s not, firing those around her who don't support her political aspirations and scratching and clawing her way to what she perceives is her place at the table. She fired a state trooper who was divorcing a member of her family; she is currently the subject of an ethics investigation in Alaska about that case. She decried Hillary Clinton's claims of media sexism, saying that it made women look bad, yet on a radio show, Sarah Palin laughed when a major political opponent of hers was called a bitch, and a cancer (Palin's opponent is a cancer survivor), and laughed again when a joke was made about her opponent's weight. She talks about Hillary Clinton making women look bad, and then laughs when a man insults a woman live on a radio show not once but three times. Palin had the audacity to use the momentum of the Clinton campaign to try to divide and conquer the still on-the-fence Clinton supporters by talking about the 18 million cracks in the highest and hardest glass ceiling, but has done nothing to further the rights of women, aligning herself against women's reproductive rights and a solid educational program that teaches responsibility to young men and women.

The proof is in Sarah Palin's pudding. A woman from Alaska who has governed for 2 years is not qualified to be the President, or even the Vice President. She might be what Alaska needed, but she is NOT what America needs. I do not trust a woman to reform Washington if she has never worked there. Her mother-in-law said that even she wasn't sure why Sarah had been asked to join the ticket. Peggy Noonan, a former Reagan and Bush speech writer said the Palin pick was "political bullsh*t", and Mike Murphy, a McCain Campaign adviser, said that choosing Sarah Palin was "gimmicky".

Sarah Palin delivers a great speech, with all the talking points the McCain campaign could get her to memorize in a week, but John McCain's pick of Sarah Palin is the WORST kind of pandering, and the fact that she can play into that pandering and deliberately target women is sickening.

Sarah Palin is NO Hillary Clinton, and any claim she makes to be a legitimate contender for a political office is laughable. She's John McCain's Flavor-of-the-Month and nothing more. Oh, and she's pretty. Lest I leave that out. Sarah Palin might be a hockey mom, but I’m a hockey player and I’m not buying the act.

Hillary Clinton

2008-08-28T01:16:00.001-04:00

Some thoughts on the Primaries, the Convention, and the election in November. Might surprise you.

Walton Wrap-Up

2008-08-23T10:40:00.001-04:00

Lots to say to my friends and family. But I'll keep it to two minutes or so.

Delaware County Fair

2008-08-18T23:13:00.003-04:00

Video blogging from the Delaware County Fair in my hometown, Walton NY is below. I can't say anything better about my time spent in Walton than Jo Dee Messina can, so I'll let her have the last word about my trip after the videos below. Part One followed by Part Two. (Clearly)

-------------------------------

Well it's been a long time glad to see your face
I knew we'd meet again another time another place
Can't believe it's been so many years
You'd better grab a chair and a couple of beers
Lookin' good in you three piece suit
You know, I always knew you'd take the business route
You were always the one to follow the light and you look like you're doing alright

Been singin' for my rent and singin' for my supper
I'm above the below and below the upper
I'm stuck in the middle where money gets tight
But I guess I'm doin' alright

I'm all, I'm all, I'm alright
It's a beautiful day not a cloud in sight so I guess I'm doin' alright
o - oh, o - oh, I'm alright
Got a good old friend here with me tonight and I guess I'm doin' alright

Well we had a lot of dreams when we were younger
They thought we were crazy but we had the hunger
We kept a lot of friends, skipped a lot of class
Been on top of the world and knocked on our ____
We lost touch, we lost in love
We lost our minds when things got tough, but
Beatin' time is a losin' fight and I guess I'm doin' alright

I'm all, I'm all, I'm alright
It's a beautiful day not a cloud in sight so I guess I'm doin' alright
o - oh, o - oh, I'm alright
Got a good old friend here with me tonight and I guess I'm doin' alright
Well I guess I'm doin' alright

Well I hate to see this evening end
God only knows when I'll see you again
Just send a fax or send me a letter or give me a call that would even be better
Give the kids a kiss for me and say hello to the family
And tell them all my future's lookin' bright
Well, I miss 'em but I'm doin' alright
I said I miss 'em but I'm doin' alright

I'm all, I'm all, I'm alright
It's a beautiful day not a cloud in sight so I guess I'm doin' alright
o - oh, o - oh, I'm alright
Got a good old friend here with me tonight and I guess I'm doin' alright
Well I guess I'm doin' alright
I'm doin' alright

------------------------------

I love you Walton.

Why Hillary Should Still Win

2008-05-23T14:36:00.002-04:00

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/23/clinton-touting-popular-vote-projections/

This is a great article about why I still believe in Hillary Clinton. This woman has the possibility of capturing the popular vote. Remember that thing? It's the total measure of winning an election, isn't it? When more people vote for you than for your opponent. After Puerto Rico, if Hillary Clinton has captured more votes than Senator Obama in every conceivable popular vote count, that nomination should be hers.

If she wins the popular vote and the nomination still goes to No-bama, I will not vote for him. I'll write in Hillary's name on the ballot for President because she would be the person who got the most votes.

Delicioso

2008-05-23T12:47:00.003-04:00

These are the most delicious snack that I have had since yesterday. And you should buy them. And eat them.

Zoom In

2008-05-20T23:40:00.003-04:00

Ohhhh Hiiiii

2008-05-20T17:53:00.002-04:00

Title Change

2008-05-12T22:18:00.003-04:00

Changing the name of the blog from "Ramblings of a Romeo" to "Welcome to the Middle". I think that's where most of us exist. Not at one extreme or another, but somewhere between. Finding that balance is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, being happy with that balance is one step beyond that. I'm getting there.

Hockey For Hillary

2008-04-24T12:44:00.004-04:00

So excited to be part of the creation of a group to help support Hillary Clinton in her bid to win the Presidency. It's called Hockey for Hillary, and through it, we can absolutely give Hillary the resources she needs in her quest to win the nomination, and in November, the Presidency.

Click on the link below to stand up for the woman who stands up for you!

http://www.hillaryclinton.com/contribute/VXTT

Youtube Blogging

2008-04-21T00:45:00.001-04:00

Here's a quick video of the warm-up of our game from this afternoon against the Sky Fighters. We lost 3-2 in overtime, but it was a great game.

Master Cleanse: Day Two

2008-03-26T09:47:00.004-04:00

10:00a.m. I had a headache last night. Right behind my eyes which I don't usually get. I had my tea last night and went to bed. Had another cup of herbal laxative tea this morning and came to work. It's working, lol.

I have my gallon of lemonade to drink today, and that's it. It's harder to make yourself drink a gallon of water than you'd think, even when it's spread out over the course of a day. I know I have to keep drinking it because it's the only thing going into my body, but my tummy gets full after drinking too much. I did it all yesterday, so I think I'll be ok for today.

I don't feel any different yet, no stomach cramping or light-headedness. I don't feel hungry yet, but it's still early in the day so we'll see how that goes. I'm going to see In The Heights tonight, so it will be interesting to see how well the evening goes. I'm hoping I don't get another headache. Does anyone know if you normally get headaches from not eating food? Or is that something I should take notice of and remember?

3:00p.m. If the purpose of this cleanse is to make you feel smaller, it certainly does. Sitting next to people who are eating lunch and being happy and going through the motions of normal social interactions with each other and not being able to eat makes you feel invisible, and out of place. Skinnier? Not yet. Smaller? Yup.

Will post later on when I get home this evening. Here's hoping no one risks their lives by sitting me down at a table with pasta all around me. God willing....

Master Cleanse: Day One

2008-03-25T09:41:00.003-04:00

So it's been awhile since I've posted, but that's mostly only because nothing has been going on. No new hockey news, went to a couple of tournaments, did alright there. Brian's doing well, family is doing well. Working at Broadway.com now, after leaving HRC due to some fundamental disagreements with the direction of the Campaign. I support transgendered people, HRC doesn't. So there's your life update.

Here's where I get pretty honest.

I have body issues. Weight issues.

I've started the Master Cleanse (also called the Lemonade Diet, though it's not actually a diet) before my hockey season starts to clean out my body and get into better shape. The fact that hockey season is on its way isn't the only reason I want to do this though. I eat stuff that's reeeeeeally unhealthy for me. Fast food lots of times during the week, soda every day, food way past 8:00 (Oprah says it's a no-no), etc. To be able to break all of the unhealthy eating habits that I've fallen into over the past few years, to completely clean out all of the built-up toxins and preservatives in my system, and to teach my stomach that it doesn't need a mountain of food to satisfy me, I'm going to do this cleanse. Here's what it involves.

For 10-14 days, no food. So really it's a fast, and not a diet, to get technical. Each day, I have to drink a gallon of liquid containing maple syrup, fresh squeezed lemon juice, water, and cayenne pepper. One cup of herbal tea in the morning and one at night to keep things moving out of your body. And that's it. Which seems crazy, when I type it out.

Last night before bed, I drank the herbal tea, and had another cup this morning when I woke up. I made my lemonade fresh last night, which they encourage you to do, and took the gallon with me to work. I think I put too much cayenne pepper in though, because Jesus Christ this stuff is spicy. It's weird thinking that I'm only going to be drinking this stuff for the next 10 days. It's only 10 in the morning now, so I'm not feeling hungry yet. I can't even imagine how I'm going to feel in 10 days or so.

People who do this cleanse reported feeling less dense inside, a little lighter and much healthier, with more energy and a heightened hunger for healthy foods. It's easy to think that I'd be starving after 10 days on a liquid diet, but people who have done it say that the hunger goes away after 2 or 3 days, and the lemonade fills you up. I hope that happens fast, because I get pretty hungry. I'm Italian and from New Jersey. That means I love food. And eating.

10:30a.m. Not hungry yet. I'll post again tonight to let you know how the day went.

-----------

11:30p.m. How do people do this? Are you insane? I just went to see Crybaby and I had to sit with Brian and his aunt at Sophia's (cute Italian restaurant, 46th St) while they ate delicious pasta on either side of me. Brian had amazing (looking) tortellini and I had nothing. I hate him. It's not his fault. I'm going to have my cup of herbal laxative tea and go to sleep. Post in the morning.

Mmmmm Hmmmm

2007-11-03T00:57:00.000-04:00

Big letters. Up on the marquis. US.

Go To Hell Scott Gomez

2007-07-01T22:13:00.000-04:00

Sometimes all a man has to stand on is his word. I trusted Scott Gomez when he said he would never play for the New York Rangers.

I thought Scott Gomez was a man of his word. I made a mistake.

Last year, when Scott Gomez went to salary arbitration, Devils fans everywhere were calling for Gomez to be traded. I stood up for Scott Gomez, saying that he was a loyal player, someone who didn't care about money and just wanted to play the sport he loved. Well, looks like I went 2-0 on that one. Scott Gomez is not loyal, and he is not in this sport to win. He's a money-hungry, selfish, and disloyal person whose only goal is to rape a team's payroll for his own benefit.

Today, my faithful blog readers, marks the beginning of the end for Scott Gomez. Today, on his first day of unrestricted free agency, he signed with the New York Rangers. The Rangers, for those of you who may not be as well-versed in hockey, represent everything that is wrong with the sport. They're a team that seeks star players at the cost of the team. The concept of a team is alien in the New York sports vocabulary. It is a win-at-all-costs mentality, minus the winning. They're a team that has, over the course of many years, helped to drive the league to a salary cap, a league-enforced tool that helps to even the financial playing field so that smaller-market teams like Columbus, Nashville, or Minnesota (to name a few) can compete with larger-market teams like New York, Detroit, Dallas, and Colorado. Teams like the New York Rangers go out and spend their money on big-name talent, instead of cultivating talent from the inside of the organization. And over the course of the past 10 years, that mentality has led the New York Rangers to the playoffs all of 2 times. For the Rangers, the names on the backs of their jerseys matter far more than the name on the front.

The New Jersey Devils, on the other hand, believe in developing talent in their farm system and over the years, bringing that talent into the organization. Their focus has never been on the individual player, but rather, on the team as a whole. New Jersey Devils management wholeheartedly believes in chemistry, in blending, and in the idea of a team that plays well for itself, not for the accomplishment or financial gain of individual players.

Scott Gomez, as far as I knew, has always identified more as a New Jersey Devil than a New York Ranger. His style of play is much more conducive to Devils hockey. Meticulous and deliberate breaks through the neutral zone, amazing quarterback passing, solid defensive responsibility. That's who Scott Gomez is, a New Jersey Devil. In fact, in cutting a promo this past season for the new Devils arena, Scott Gomez looked into the camera and said "Meet me in Newark!" And then he turned his back on New Jersey.

In my head, it makes no sense to me that a person like Scott Gomez would chase the dollar and not the Stanley Cup. It is hard to fathom that you can watch a player for 10 years, follow him through two Stanley Cups, Rookie of the Year accolades, Olympic games, and an NHL lockout, and then realize how little you actually know about that person's character. To leave New Jersey, an organization that has given Scott Gomez a chance to be as good a player as he is today, an organization that has, over the past ten years been a consistent contender for the Stanley Cup, I had to consider what Scott Gomez was thinking.

And all I could see was green. Scott Gomez is not signing with the New York Rangers for the level of competition, or for the chance to win the Stanley Cup. That's what hockey is all about, winning the Cup. Playing 82 games in the regular season, then winning 16 more in the Playoffs and capturing the oldest trophy in all of sports. Again, not for Scott Gomez. Today, Scott Gomez proved that playing this sport is second to his salary. Thousands of fans who buy Gomez jerseys and wear them to games don't matter as much to Scott Gomez as a little green piece of paper with George Washington on it. Or rather, 7 million of those every year.

Scott Gomez sold out his fans, his team, and himself. The people Scott Gomez grew up with in Alaska would dream of playing competitive hockey and having a chance every single year to win the Stanley Cup. To say no to $5.2 million a year from the New Jersey Devils is selfish. To take a deal from the New York Rangers, the biggest rival of the Devils, is a slap in the face to everything he has ever been offered from the Devils. A home in New Jersey, fans who buy his merchandise and support him even in slumps, teammates who buoy him to his best performances. None of it matters enough to stay loyal. Not when the moneybag Rangers come knocking with their bottomless wallets.

So today, Scott Gomez, we turn our back on you. Never again will we entertain conversation about your skills, or your career in New Jersey. Any legacy you had created in the minds of Devils fans is, from this point on, wiped out. Gone.

Slap us in the face? Have fun in New York, it worked out so well for Wayne Gretzky. The Rangers are the organization where players go to die. Any chance you had to win a Stanley Cup is now gone. Enjoy sold-out arenas. People will love having you there. But when people see you show your face in New Jersey, don't expect anything from us. As far as we're concerned, you're dead to us. The Scott Gomez trade represents the end of an era, but not just for the Devils. Your success in hockey has come to an end, and try as I might, I can't seem to understand it. You've traded respect for money, integrity for the dollar, and loyalty for a buck.

And at the end of the season, when you're watching the Devils in the Stanley Cup playoffs from the comfort of your 7 million dollar home, I hope you can find your smile again. The one you had every time you stepped onto the ice in red and black.

If money buys happiness, you should have no problem.

What's New?

2007-06-30T11:07:00.000-04:00

Well, a bunch of stuff has happened this month, and I haven't really had the chance to talk about it because I've been so damned tired. Sorry.

I've been working at the Human Rights Campaign in New York every day of the week, which has been amazing. I've raised over $3,000 in about 9 days. The money we raise goes towards ending employment discrimination (there are still 31 states where someone can be fired for being gay), expanding hate crimes laws, and granting equal rights and benefits to same-sex couples. Good stuff, right?

Hockey has been going well, and after losing in overtime to the Rainbows, tying the Unicorns through overtime and a shootout, we finally captured a win against the Mathematics, 5-1. Here are my two favorite pictures from that game. Until next update, enjoy!

Happy?

2007-06-09T12:18:00.000-04:00

Well, here's the picture that the world is rejoicing over! There's your Trashy Paris, thrown into the back of a cop car, pulled screaming from her mother and sobbing while being taken back to court after being reassigned by the Sheriff to house arrest. That's great everybody! Let's all be happy about the suffering of another human being. I mean, if it makes you feel better, right?

The Paris Situation

2007-06-08T14:03:00.000-04:00

So I've been watching the coverage of Paris Hilton's jail debacle. And that's exactly what it is, a debacle. Almost every media outlet that I've watched, read, or listened to in this fiasco has acted really disgusted with Paris Hilton and the way that she is depicted in the media.

Here's the thing that really makes me sick, though. Paris Hilton's celebrity status is a media creation. She is well-known because she's a pretty girl that the newspapers and internet gossip columns decided to cover because she is rich and famous and it will sell papers. Whether cameras followed her or not, she would still be going to clubs, still drinking, and perhaps even still making irresponsible choices. The girl is in her mid-20's and is doing things typically associated with young girls. Going out with friends, shopping, drinking, clubbing, etc. The fact that she has money allows her to do all of those things on a much larger scale.

The media has created someone that they can follow, and are then bemoaning the fact that her celebrity status is based on no merit. Well, in my opinion, you can't follow someone around and photograph them at every opportunity you get, and THEN have the audacity to tell me that you are sick of Paris Hilton coverage because she does nothing worthy of covering. You either make the choice to have journalistic integrity and cover actual "news" stories, or you become Fox News or MSNBC or CNN and cover whatever is going to sell. But don't expect me to respect you as a legitimate news source when you're telling me how talentless Paris is in one breath and telling your reporters to get the best shot of Paris being loaded into the Sheriff's car in the other. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

Watching this coverage of Paris' probation violation and incarceration and reassignment to house arrest left me feeling really sad for this girl. And for the state of our media. She violated her probation and was sentenced to 45 days in prison. Fine, she accepted responsibility for her actions and was going to jail, saying she was nervous but would blame only herself. Her sentence was lessened, as almost every sentence is in our court system, to 23 days. She served five days, and after a medical assessment, it was decided by the Sheriff that she would be reassigned to house arrest for the remainder of the initial sentence. With time served, she would have to be under house arrest with an ankle monitor for 40 days. No sooner is she returned to her house and fitted with the bracelet then the judge freaks out that the Sheriff has changed his sentence and orders Paris to return to court. Hundreds of paparazzi descend on the Hilton home, dangerously close to the road and passing traffic. Paris is handcuffed, and returns to court in a squad car.

The argument now becomes a pissing contest over jurisdiction. The judge specifically said in his sentencing that electronic monitoring was not an option. The Sheriff, then taking Paris into his care AND jurisdiction, decided after talking to medical professionals that Paris would best serve her sentence under continuing supervision of the Sheriff's department under house arrest. Paris was NOT released from prison, she was reassigned. It is a decision that the Sheriff is allowed to make. The judge is out to prove a point that celebrities are not above the law. But isn't making someone return to jail after the person who is in charge of her has reassigned her circumnavigating the law? Isn't it treating someone with MORE severity than another person? Most people convicted of alcohol-related probation violation (all low-level offenders) serve no more than 5 days, or 10% of their sentence in the facility to which Paris was remanded. Is the judge trying to prove a point with the Hilton case, and if so, what makes that fair to this girl?

I do not think Paris Hilton should be returned to jail. I do not think she was treated preferentially and I do not think a judge has the right to take away a Sheriff's legal right to treat the prisoners in his jurisdiction as he sees fit.

The entire thing is disgusting, but perhaps the most sickening part of all of it is the media's addiction to celebrity news, combined with the duality of telling people how terrible Paris Hilton is. I guess the best way to bring people together is to give them a common enemy. Perhaps now that I think about it that way, maybe it makes a bit more sense to me. Build up Paris' image through constant and unending media coverage, then try on every program you have to destroy her. After all, it sells magazines, doesn't it?

UPDATE: Paris has been remanded to the Detention Facility to serve the full 45 day sentence, with appropriate credit. She has to serve 45 days, even though 23 was what everyone had agreed she would serve when she entered. Paris did not misbehave while incarcerated, and it was my understanding that the only determination that could be made about a reduction/increase of a prisoner's sentence while incarcerated had to be made with consideration to the prisoner's behavior exclusively. Paris was described by the prison staff as "polite" and "courteous" and "respectful". How has it now happened that she must serve the full 45 and not the compromised 23? Is it because the Sheriff reassigned her to house arrest? That's not Paris' fault. Was she expected to tell the Sheriff "No, sir, I think I'd actually better stay here because that's what the judge said."? It is disgusting to me that a judge with an axe to grind is now punishing someone even more harshly because of the media attention the case has garnered and because his authority was threatened by a Sheriff. That's not justice. It's revenge. And that sickens me.

WHAT?

2007-06-04T20:54:00.001-04:00

Today I landed a job in Manhattan, working for the Human Rights Campaign. It's a full-time salaried position, managing a canvassing program in the city. More information to come as details roll in. I'm so excited though, just needed to fill everyone in.

In the meantime, feel free to check out their website at www.hrc.org

This, That, and The Other Blonde Thing

2007-05-25T13:15:00.000-04:00

It's been a few weeks since I've posted anything new because I've been busy with work and stuff. Let's get you up to speed. And let's try it this way.

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NHL: The Devils were eliminated from the Playoffs, the Finals have been set between the Senators and the Ducks. I hate the Senators, so I'm rooting for the Ducks to bring home the Cup. Plus, it'll be nice to see Scott Niedermayer win a Cup with his brother Rob. However, I think the Senators are too deep a hockey team to be ousted. They came awfully close in 2003, taking my Devils to Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals before losing at home. This year is different.

I think Alfredsson, Heatley, Spezza, and Corvo are going to face their biggest challenge of the Playoff year when trying to break out of the zone and establish a decent forecheck. Regardless of Niedermayer and Pronger sitting on the blue line for the Ducks, the Senators look like a team that has been waiting for their chance for years, and now that it's here, it seems nothing will stop them. I'm anxious to see if the Conn Smythe-winner J.S. Giguere will regain his post-season form of 2003 and steal this series for Anaheim. Time will tell....

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BTSH: My hockey team has had a weird start to our season, going 3-2. We shutout Bad Touch 1-0 in Overtime, then the next week we were shutout by the Fresh Kills 2-0, only to rebound the following week to shutout the Lbs 3-0. Consistency, eh? The Rehabs are ranked 5th in the league overall, tied for first in Goals Against with 6 goals in 5 games for a GAA of 1.20, and tied for first in Shutouts with 2 in 5 games (both of which came in the last 3 games). We have this Sunday off for Memorial Day, but then we've got a big couple of games in the following weeks against the Skyfighters (13th place), Rainbows (8th place), Unicorns (3rd place), and the Mathematics (10th place). All of those teams are capable of offensive explosions and are really solid defensively. It'll be interesting to see where the Rehabs are at in a month or so.

We're feeling good as a team, but I'd really like to see us play with more consistency. One week we KNOW we can score, then the next week it seems like we have no idea how to find the back of the net. It's a confidence issue, I think, and it will fix itself once we start to win a bit more. I'm trying to provide as much confidence as I can for my team by giving them big games every chance I get. Anyone that reads my blog with any regularity knows that I want to be the rock for my team, the guy they build their foundation around. Last game, the 3-0 shutout win against the Lbs, my defense played phenomenally in front of me, limiting the Lbs to only 9 shots in the whole game. 4 of those shots, however, came on breakaways, all of which I was able to turn away. That's a real confidence builder for the team, to see your goalie stop everything.

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TV: Big couple of weeks for TV. American Idol finale, Lost, Veronica Mars, Heroes, and Smallville Season Finales, Rosie and Elisabeth Hasselbeck's blow-up on The View. However, I am most excited that Season 5 of The Simple Life premieres this weekend, and I couldn't be happier about that. After the cliffhanger from last season, I'm really excited to see Paris and Nicole back together and working on this show. If you have never seen any of the previous seasons, and are judging it based solely on the fact that it stars Paris Hilton, you're really making a big mistake based on a judgement call.

The show is hilarious, and works very well when Paris and Nicole are interacting together, as they did in the first 3 seasons. The 4th season, due to personal conflicts, saw Paris and Nicole shoot their scenes independently, and in my opinion was the weakest of all the seasons. Season 5, premiering this weekend, will see Paris and Nicole as camp counselors. I can't wait....

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DVD: Also, I just got the full series of David the Gnome, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Hey Dude, The Secret World of Alex Mack, Salute Your Shorts, X-Men: The Animated Series, and Tales From The Crypt on DVD. It's so good to rediscover a TV show from your childhood. They hold up really well over time, as well.

I think when Brian and I have kids we're just going to show them TV from our childhood instead of the stuff that's on TV these days. TV was so good back then, with different shows able to distinguish themselves and really carve out their place amongst one another. I can remember theme songs and characters and story arcs for shows that I haven't seen in more than fifteen years. Good stuff, good stuff....

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CD: This week, Brian picked up the new Amy Winehouse CD. He says it's really good, but I haven't listened to it yet. What do you guys think? As I type this, on MTV, her song "Rehab" just came on. That feels like cheating, to type that I haven't listened to Amy Winehouse yet and then have her come right on TV. Hmmm, maybe I'll give this album a listen. Also, and perhaps more importantly, Celine Dion's new French-language album "D'Elles" came out in Europe and Canada this week. I have it on pre-order but it hasn't come in yet.

I'm dying to get this CD already, it's the first new album Celine has released in years, since "A New Day....Live in Las Vegas" which is just her Vegas show on CD. It's good, but it doesn't make up for a new album. "D'Elles" is a concept project that Celine recorded to honor 10 great women writers from Quebec. All of the songs on the album are their songs. I've heard two or three tracks, but I don't want to ruin it by listening to more. The anticipation is what helps the payoff mean so much.

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Stage: Go see the musical version Legally Blonde at the Palace Theater. Go. Laura Bell Bundy is wonderful, Orfeh is hilarious, Kate Shindle is amazing, and the underfed dogs are awfully cute.

The music is contagious, the set is very impressive, the lighting is gorgeous, the costumes are fun, the theater is electric. I enjoyed myself so much and can't wait to go back.

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Life: No complaints here. Brian graduated and is home now. My brother finishes up 10th grade and my sister completes 9th. May saw the birth of Sholyssa Hartbean and Katony Shindlomeo, the rise of international superstar and emerging big-screen talent Alexa Vega, the well-deserved Tony nomination of Grey Gardens, Brian watching the Bret Hart documentary and quoting "Brooklyn", and a new haircut for me. What a month!

Devils Eliminated, Rehabs Win

2007-05-06T23:13:00.000-04:00

After a valiant effort, the New Jersey Devils were eliminated yesterday after a 3-2 home loss to the Ottawa Senators. Great season, amazing team. More on the after-shock later.

In other news, we won our hockey game today 1-0 in overtime against Bad Touch. A great game to get my first shutout of the year, with a really solid effort by everyone on the court. Nice job Rehabs, let's keep rolling!

We Believe....

2007-05-05T11:20:00.000-04:00

Well, this is a rough spot to be in. The Devils have fallen to a 3-1 deficit in their series against the Ottawa Senators. I will be going tonight, Section 217, Row 24, to help the thousands of other Devils faithfuls rally our team to capture a win at home. 90.7% of teams facing a 3-1 deficit in a series are eliminated. In 2000, the Devils faced such a scenario, falling to a 3-1 deficit in their Eastern Conference Finals matchup with the Philadelphia Flyers. The Devils rallied back to eventually win the series and the Stanley Cup.

Tonight, we can't remember what that rally felt like. We can't concentrate on winning three games in a row (incidentally, something we did just last round against the Lightning). We have to play tonight's game one period at a time, one minute at a time, one shift at a time. Defensive accountability and solid offense the things that need to happen tonight for the Devils to have a chance.

Emery has been giving up huge rebounds all series long, but we haven't been there to capitalize on any of them. The offense has come too little, too late. In a perfect world, the Devils would score one or two early goals and just shut down the game for the remainder. Fans of other teams tell me that Devils Hockey is boring hockey because of the defensive mindset of our team. I'll tell you what, defense wins hockey games folks. You need only look at our last couple of games to figure that out.

I'll be there tonight, for what could quite possibly be the last Devils game in Continental Airlines Arena, as the Devils are slated to move to the brand new arena being constructed for them in Newark at the beginning of next season. Maybe I'll be there tonight because I've seen the Devils be eliminated by the Carolina Hurricanes and I know how crushing that is. Maybe I'll be there tonight because I've driven to Ottawa to see the Devils beat the Senators in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals in 2003 en route to their 3rd Stanley Cup win. Maybe some of those things factor into why I need to be there in person, instead of just watching on TV.

But I know with all of my heart that I'll be there tonight because I believe in the boys in red. I believe that the man wearing number 30 on his back can lead this team to victory. I believe that these boys can take home a victory tonight, and march into Ottawa to take a game. But tonight, it's about one game. One minute. One shift. I'll be there. In red.

Believe....

Devils Advance, Rehabs Win!

2007-04-22T22:43:00.000-04:00

The New Jersey Devils closed out their series today against the Tampa Bay Lightning, winning the game 3-2 and finishing the series 4-2. They now move on to face the Ottawa Senators, a team that they beat 3 games to 1 in the regular season. It should be a great series, I know I'm looking forward to it!

Also, I won my game today, 8-1 against the Denim Demons. I had 16 saves on 17 shots, and felt great to be out there again, giving my team the confidence to play well offensively. That's all for tonight, I'm so tired and literally falling asleep as I type. Goodnight!

Game 6 Today

2007-04-22T12:33:00.000-04:00

So a lot has happened since my last post. Myth Adventures opened and closed (huge success, pictures coming), the Devils won Game 4 and 5 to take a lead over the Lightning, and are now up 3-2 with the chance of closing out the series in Tampa today.

We believe....Go Devils!

Devils Tie Series 2-2

2007-04-19T00:40:00.000-04:00

What a great win tonight for the Devils, winning the game 4-3 on a Scott Gomez goal in overtime! Now if you're a Devils fan, you take a couple of things away from the game tonight.

1.) Consistency. The Devils stole this win. After building a 3-1 lead early, the Devils let it collapse and allowed the Lightning to climb back into this game at 3-3. This can't happen.

2.) Balanced scoring. Zach Parise now leads the league in scoring, with 6 goals coming in just 4 games. This is great, but the Devils need other players to step forward and balance out the scoring. You can't rely on one line, and especially not on one player, if you hope to go very far in the playoffs. We need our top line to play like the top line.

3.) Power play. The power play needs to produce more. We should have won this game 5-3 or 6-3. More production comes from less passing and more shooting. We consistenly outshoot the opposition, but a lot of those shots are coming from the perimeter, and a goalie like Holmqvist is going to read those shots and make the saves. Letting a goalie make a bunch of saves allows him to get his confidence built up early, as well as pushing our own confidence down a bit.

4.) Marty needs to play like Marty. This is now 3 goals allowed in each game, making it 12 goals over 12 games. He's making big saves, but also allowing some very uncharacteristic goals. Gotta settle down a bit.

5.) Faceoffs. We're doing well on faceoffs and this needs to continue, giving the winning team a huge advantage in controlling the play and dictating the pace of the game.

6.) Physicality. Playing Matvichuk with Lukowich tonight was a great move that really shows you what a brilliant strategist Lou Lamoriello is. Two big, playoff-tested, gutsy defenseman are a formidable opponent for a young line of LeCavalier and St. Louis, making the forecheck more of a challenge for Tampa Bay.

Coming off of a 4-3 overtime win against a hungry young Tampa Bay team and returning home to New Jersey for Game 5, the Devils should put up a good game on Friday night. They've got some confidence under their belts now, stealing a game in Tampa and coming back to what should be a raucous New Jersey crowd. Parise scored 2 goals in Game 4, and we got 2 goals from the EGG line as well. Hopefully these two lines can build on the confidence they've developed and transition into Game 5, taking the lead in the series and putting a stranglehold on the Lightning.

Solid win tonight, and as always....

Go Devils!

Myth Adventures

2007-04-18T10:17:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to post a picture of the veil that I created for the show that opens this week. Enjoy!

Devils Update

2007-04-18T10:09:00.000-04:00

After winning the first game of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals against the Tampa Bay Lightning, the Devils dropped the next two games, with a less than stellar performance by Marty Brodeur in net. Tonight is Game 4, with the Devils down 2-1.

We need a big game tonight from the EGG line of Elias, Gomez, and Gionta. If they don't show up offensively and we again need to rely on rookies like Parise and Zajac, then here's hoping that Marty has a stellar game. Game is on at 7:00. Tying the game then makes the series a best of 5, which I believe we can win.

Side note, ten years ago Marty scored a playoff goal against the Montreal Canadiens. Congratulations are surely in order for an amazing goaltender that will surely use his performance in the last two games to build a solid mental game for himself tonight. For the top 25 highlights from the Devils 25-year history, head over to www.newjerseydevils.com and check out the videos on their site. Good stuff.

As always, Go Devils!

Here we go again....

2007-04-11T00:24:00.000-04:00

The Devils have made the playoffs for the 10th season in a row! They start their first round against the Tampa Bay Lightning, a prior Stanley Cup winner. Their first game is Thursday at 7:30. I will post scores and reactions throughout the playoffs.

Meanwhile, this weekend marks the beginning of my sophomore hockey season in BTSH. After tasting defeat in the semifinals last year, I'm anxious to strap on the pads and take it all the way this year. First game is this Sunday at 5:00 at Corlears. Rehabs v. Cobra Kai. We've got to get off to a good start. I'll post scores and details after the weekend. Go Habs!

Anna, Anna, Glamorous Anna!

2007-04-11T00:17:00.000-04:00

With the announcement that Larry Birkhead is the father of Dannielynn Smith (Yay!), I thought I would take a second to post a picture of an Easter egg that I....I mean, my friend....decorated this past weekend to honor Anna Nicole as part of my....his....Easter egg theme. He hopes you enjoy. And at the risk of sounding like Bobby Trendy, please notice the luxurious gemstones and sumptuous red feather boa. All a fitting tribute for one classy broad.

Costume Update

2007-04-03T12:38:00.000-04:00

As you all know, I've been working on makeup and costumes for my buddy Dominic's show "Myth Adventures". The show consists of the re-telling of 4 classic Greek myths. Dom is responsible for two scenes, while the other director will tackle the remaining two stories. Dom is directing "King Midas", the story of the greedy King upon whom the gift of a golden touch is bestowed, and "Orpheus", the story of the musician who must travel to the Underworld to rescue Euridice, the love of his life.

The Midas costumes were pretty simple to take care of, as were the Orpheus costumes. I wanted Euridice to be able to have a really fun costume. Euridice is the most beautiful girl in the land, and she is captured by Hades and taken to the Underworld, where she is a living prisoner until Orpheus tries to rescue her. Hades agrees to let Orpheus take her out of the Underworld, but under one condition. Euridice may follow Orpheus out of the Underworld, but she must not speak, and Orpheus cannot turn back to look at her until they have left the cave, lest Euridice be lost to Hades forever.

I wanted to design a costume that communicated the prison in which Euridice finds herself, a tomb where she cannot speak but can still be seen. Her beauty isn't lost completely, but just wrapped up in the darkness of the Underworld. She is alive, but trapped, and that confinement is never entirely shaken. Here is a picture of the costume I designed. I think it nails the idea that I was going for, but I'm looking for a little feedback. When Euridice is captured, she is wearing all white. When we enter the Underworld, she is still wearing her white costume, with this veil now surrounding and imprisoning her. I plan on getting some pictures of her in the costume on stage, but for now this one is all I have.

Philly Tourney

2007-04-03T12:22:00.000-04:00

I'm finally posting about the tournament I played in over the weekend in Philadelphia. We lost our first game, won our second game, lost our final game. The middle game (our only victory) was a game that we won 2-0. That means a shutout! I can honestly say that it was the best game I've ever played in my life, and the picture attached here is a picture of the ball from that game. You may not know, but I save all of my shutout balls and keep them. It's a nice thing, though Brian says that the hockey ball drawer is filling up a little too fast. I think that's a compliment.

The final morning of the tournament, I was eating breakfast with a couple of my teammates in the hotel restaurant. There was an Asian family eating next to our table, and the cutest little boy who kept making silly faces at my teammate Mike. He was maybe three or four, if that old, and kept resting his arms on Mike and smiling up at him. His family knew that we all thought he was pretty cute, so they let him hang out at our table. I was happy that the camera phone picture I was able to take of him came out so well.

Liz!

2007-04-03T12:17:00.000-04:00

I got to see my best friend Liz when she was in the city the other day, for a few hours at least. Loyal blog readers know how much I love her, so being able to see her again was really great. This is a picture of us in Cold Stone Creamery.

Devils Fire Head Coach

2007-04-03T11:06:00.000-04:00

The current hot rumor is that Julien wanted to sit Marty in one of the next three games, but the only way that Marty gets a shot at beating Bernie Parent's record for a single-season amount of goalie wins is to give him a shot to win at least 2 of them. Marty said he wouldn't be sat for any of the rest of the season, Julien went to Lamoriello, Lamoriello sided with Marty, Julien was fired.

The other rumor is that it's a very similar situation to when Julien was fired from Montreal. His system didn't mesh well with the system that Canadiens had built their team on. However, Julien's Montreal firing happened after the season had ended, before the start of the next season. That's why I think it's not the same game here in Jersey.

We're all sort of left shaking our heads on this one in the Jers. 2nd place in the East, Atlantic Division leaders, a record-breaking year for Marty, the sort of stuff that you absolutely want a coach to bring you to. I was miffed at Julien earlier in the season when he didn't change the line-ups to give us better matchups offensively. The Devs have never been a hugely productive offensive team, any hockey fan will tell you that much. So for Julien to squander the chances we may have had by refusing to move a wing to center or vice versa has always rubbed other Devils fans the wrong way.

We're a serious playoff contender this year, and people would be fools not to realize it. Marty in the playoffs is a different Marty than in the regular season, where he is already seen by most of the NHL as the goaltender to beat. I'll keep you posted if I hear anything about the Julien situation, but it looks like we're either going to be finishing the season and opening the playoffs against the Rangers, Sens, or Canadiens.

I definitely think it's poor timing, and it's easy for an outsider looking in to criticize this move as "eccentric" or even "egotistical". Lamoriello is the man who dealt Jason Arnott away from New Jersey and broke up the "A Line" of Elias, Arnott, and Sykora (undoubtedly the most potent offensive line the Devils had ever seen) because he "didn't want one player to be the focus of the team", and felt that if one piece of that line was being unproductive, the entire line suffered, being unable to produce without the other two, and that Lou "didn't ever think you could ever have success like that". Breaking up the most productive line in Devils history, firing a coach with three games left in the season, etc. It's easy to criticize the man.

But when you've followed the organization for years, you come to trust Lou Lamoriello. The man that took over the team as Head Coach two years in a row has also publicly said "I have no plans to stay on as Head Coach, but only think it unfair to ask a new coach to come in under this kind of pressure." Lou isn't a coach, he's the General Manager, and when it comes to GM's, you'd be hard pressed to find me another team that doesn't view Lou as the best one out there. He's the longest-reigning GM in hockey, is largely responsible for hammering out a Collective Bargaining Agreement that was suitable for both the league and the NHLPA and got the league back running. He's the man that drafted Martin Brodeur, acquired Scott Stevens, gave Brendan Shanahan some of his best years. He's the GM that has put his hockey club in a position to make the playoffs for the last 10 consecutive years, with three Stanley Cups in 9 years. Lou puts the development of his hockey team at the forefront of his priorities. From the Lowell Devils all the way up to my Devils, his focus is on the team. I have never seen another man in sports command and earn as much respect as Lou Lamoriello does from the entire league.

The Devils are often criticized for a stagnant defense. A boring game. A stifling game. A boring arena. Bad fans. Low attendance. None of those things win a team the Stanley Cup. As great as it is for the Rangers or Canadiens or Islanders to have sell-out after sell-out, it hasn't brought them the Cup. You don't win awards for attendance. You win Cups from icing the best and most competitive team that you possibly can. And Lou Lamoriello has done that, for years now.

So when it comes to the firing of Claude Julien, as a Devils fan, you tend not to question it as much as everyone else. Because we believe in this team, and we believe in our management.

In Lou we trust.

Mystery Solved

2007-03-27T02:29:00.000-04:00

The "Wicked" cover I asked about earlier in the day is, in fact, the UK hardcover edition of the novel. I bought it, it is being shipped to my house. Thanks to Chris for finding it!

Find Me This

2007-03-26T13:57:00.000-04:00

I just stumbled across a new cover for the novel "Wicked" that I have never seen before. Here's the picture. If you can find me this book, there is a big reward for you.

Nerves

2007-03-19T23:19:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret of mine here. I leave tomorrow to go to New Hampshire to speak on Wednesday at Kearsarge High School. That's not the secret.

The secret is that I'm really nervous. This usually happens to me the night before a big speaking presentation, and I'm almost always over it by the next morning. These things are really important to me, they're my life. I don't want to let down the people that are bringing me in to speak, and most importantly, I don't want to disappoint the kids that I'm speaking to.

I know I'm going to do a good job for these kids, but the makeup of the audience is always up in the air. Are they going to like me? Even if they don't like me, will they actually listen to me?

These stupid insecurities are just so annoying that I want to just go and do something else to take my mind off of the next 2 days, but then I know that that choice wouldn't be fair to the kids and people that have invested their time in making this event possible.

AAAHHH!!! 6 hours in the car tomorrow, but before then I need to pack, review my presentation, and try to get a haircut. I am staying at the New London Inn (www.newlondoninn.us) the night before the presentation, then getting picked up the following morning at 7am. 2 double-sessions (9o minutes each), then a meeting with the coordinator to debrief the day, then 6 hours back in the car before a full day of work.

I'm going to go now and try to get some sleep. I'll probably be too excited/nervous to sleep a lot tomorrow night in New Hampshire, so a good night's rest tonight is important. I will post when I get back and have some pictures to share.

Wish me luck!

Georgian Court Feedback

2007-03-16T10:12:00.000-04:00

I just got a letter in the mail from Georgian Court University. I love getting mail. Here's the text:

Dear Mr. Romeo,

I want to thank you so very much for presenting in our Human Behavior class today at Georgian Court University. Your colleagues here found your presentation enlightening, educating, and mesmerizing. You are to be commended for both your courage and determination in raising the awareness of others as to the prejudice and discrimination experienced by gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons.

I hope that you might be willing to speak with a larger audience here at Georgian Court and will be investigating the possibilities. I will keep in touch since I believe this is a critical part of everyone's education.

Thank you once again for a wonderful, meaningful presentation.

Most sincerely,

Dr. Cheryl Resnick-Cortes
Chair and Program Director
Department of Social Work, Political Science, and Gerontology

Sneak Peek

2007-03-16T09:55:00.000-04:00

I'm helping my buddy Dominic with a Middle School show in South River that he's directing, and I'm in charge of costumes and makeup. It's like I'm gay or something. The show is called Myth Adventures, and it tells the stories of 5 Greek myths. I'm really excited about it, the kids that we're working with are really great, and the show looks like it might be pretty good. Here are a couple of the kids from the show in their ghost makeup. I use MAC Chromacake and then a porcelain setting powder and it gives the makeup a really sheen, even look. None of this runny oily Party City crap. I'll put up more pictures as the show gets closer, because I've got a really great costume for one of the kids. Enjoy!

Yesterday

2007-03-14T12:38:00.000-04:00

So pretty much yesterday was the best and weirdest day that I could have asked for.

I spoke at Georgian Court University and it was a really great experience all around. The professor was really great and the students had some really interesting questions for me afterwards. It's always nice when you feel that connectivity to a bigger picture, and in this Social Work class, it was great to feel that you're helping to arm people to make a change in the world. The professor said she'd like to bring me back in a larger capacity to speak to Georgian Court again, which is really exciting. I'll keep you posted on how that turns out.

After that, I had to head into the city. Brian told me that we were going on Secret Date Night, and that I had to just show up in the city at 6:00, but he wouldn't tell me what we were doing. So I got on the bus, the driver decided that once he got out of the Lincoln Tunnel he in fact would NOT be going to the Port Authority, but instead would drive around the city for another hour before heading back to 41st. At 30th and 12th, he asked if people wanted to get off the bus, and the bus emptied. You can't keep people on a bus for 2 hours when the trip was supposed to take 40 minutes.

I walked to 51st and 7th and met Brian. As we're standing there talking, Sebastian Arcelus (Fiyero in Wicked) walked by us. Brian then told me that as he was crossing the street earlier in the day that Tony Danza had pushed him out of the way and had not said "Excuse me." Jerk. I guess this is proof positive who was REALLY the boss. That's right....Katherine Helmond. Mona, to friends.

I walked with my head down for a few blocks so I couldn't see where we were going. I guess being walked blind-folded through Manhattan would have been too suspicious. When I lifted my head, I saw that we were standing in front of the marquee for Les Miserables. That was the first show that I ever saw on Broadway, my sort of indoctrination into the world of theatre, and Brian knew how much the show meant to me. Now that the show has been revived and brought back to Broadway, he snatched up a pair of tickets for us. The show was great, just to be able to be there in the theatre hearing the songs that had opened an entirely new world for me was really great. Also, Jenny Galloway is in this production, who played Madame Thenardier in the London 10th Anniversary Concert (which I saw in Middle School on a VHS tape at Rebecca Hoover's house on a snow day, before I went anywhere near New York City years later). I was dying to see her perform live. That's a picture of her in the show. She was amazing, doing so much with a really fun character. Really, I can't say enough about her, so afterwards I just wanted to meet her and say hello and thanks for doing an amazing job in the show. She came out and I almost didn't see her. She's soooo short. I'm 5'8" and she's well below me. Here's a picture of us together. Isn't she adorable?

She could not have been more grateful for the compliments or for the appreciation from a fan. I didn't keep her long, I know people want to get out of there at night, but I just had to pull her aside and say thanks.

Brian totally isn't the kind of guy that likes to hang out at the Stage Door and wait to talk to performers. In fact, he hates it. So of course I made him wait a little longer until Norm Lewis, currently playing the police inspector Javert (the villain) came out so that I could get a picture with him as well. I reminded Brian that it was Secret Date Night. He smiled and said that we would wait for Norm to come out.

Luckily, Norm came out just a few minutes later and again, could not have been nicer to fans. He took a picture with every person that wanted one, signed everything that was put in front of him, and stuck around to talk to anyone that had questions for him. I saw him years ago in the Children of Eden Benefit on World AIDS Day at the Riverside Church. He was great then, and I really enjoyed him now. I asked for a picture and said thanks for a great show. He said he's leaving the show in April, and because of a friend on the inside, I know that he's going into The Little Mermaid as King Triton. That'll be interesting to see. Here's a picture of me and Norm. So nice of him.

After Norm, I kind of just wanted to wait for Lea Salonga to come out, who played Eponine awhile back, but is currently playing Fantine in the revival. This woman is a huge star in the Phillipines, and her contributions to Broadway (Les Mis, Miss Saigon) have earned her huge critical acclaim and success. I hear screams from the crowd and figured it must have been her. I turn around and see a huge pop star standing there. Not Lea Salonga....no no, that would have been too easy.

Of course, it's David Hasselhoff. That's right, the Hoff. Towering above the crowd at easily 6'3", the Hoff came out of the Stage Door of the Broadhurst Theatre to squeals and shrieks from the crowd. Did I miss something? Was I in Germany? Why are people going crazy for David Hasselhoff? I didn't know, but I wanted a part of it. I walked over to the crowd, and he was handing out his own stack of promotional pictures. Of himself. That he was signing for people. As the photographer that he had brought with him snapped pictures of a happy Hoff signing autographs for fans. I asked him for one and he said "Sure buddy!" Ok, this whole thing was weird, I had to get out of there. So Brian and I walk away from the Hoff-cluster and are standing apart from the group.

And then Academy-Award winner Ron Howard walks by with friends.

Ok, this is too much. We hauled over to the Port Authority and then, when safely back in New Jersey, asked ourselves if it was all real. Had it been a joke? The only proof we have is one picture, a testament to a night filled with random happenings. Judge for yourself....

Speaking Stuff

2007-03-13T10:35:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to keep everyone posted about my speaking engagements, in case anyone wanted to come out and see what I do.

I will be speaking at Georgian Court on Tuesday, March 13. One week later on Wednesday, March 21, I will be speaking at Kearsarge High School in North Sutton, New Hampshire.

Pictures from these events will be posted as soon as I have them.

Keep reading, and remember what I always say! Having fun isn't hard, when you've got a library card!

Mystery

2007-03-02T16:35:00.000-05:00

So my friend Jason from my hockey team just e-mails me that he can't come to our practice this weekend. Here's his e-mail with attached picture:

When god doesnt want you to make out with a model on a beach in the moonnlight on the Omani Coast, he sends a giant turtle to f*ck you up. For real. Story when I return. Check the turban, bedouin style for shooting in the desert. Have a good practice and i'll see you next week. jasonMysteries abound....I'll fill you all in as soon as J does.

Monmouth Mall Hijinx

2007-02-26T22:50:00.000-05:00

Yea, I love Arthur. Is that wrong?

Good Times

2007-02-26T22:47:00.000-05:00

I've missed you!

New Look

2007-02-22T02:11:00.000-05:00

Decided it was time to change the look of my blog a little. What do you think? Does this look like it works? It reminds me of Lite Brite.

Stomach Flu

2007-02-13T16:18:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've been in the bathroom for 2 days now. Throwing up is a terrible feeling. My whole bottom half feels like it's being squeezed by a wrench. Apparently some stomach bug is going around, and everyone that I've asked about it has said "Oh, but it's only for 24 hours."

Great. Just know that those 24 hours are going to be the absolute worst that your body has ever felt. Body will weigh four hundred pounds, head will be stuffy and eyes will ache, you won't be able to keep any food down from either end, and you'll consider not eating so that your body doesn't have anything to throw up. Except that doing that makes it hurt even more.

Can't stop....I need help....

2007-02-01T02:29:00.000-05:00

Pictured below are the next couple of M&Ms that I designed. This website is too much fun, I'm telling you. Pictured are my three Broadway M&Ms (Jennifer Holliday's Effie White from "Dreamgirls", and Elphaba and Glinda from "Wicked") as well as an M&M I made of my friend Dominic. Hope you like them!

Look Familiar?

2007-01-29T00:28:00.000-05:00

Still Giddy

2007-01-25T01:55:00.000-05:00

Yup, still giddy about my great day in the city. This happy!

Is This My Life?

2007-01-25T00:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it's after midnight on Wednesday night (technically Thursday morning, I guess) and I'm writing this blog after having an amazing day that I just need to talk about. I went into the city today with one of my best friends because we both had the day off and just decided to do something fun. It was one of the best days I've had in awhile.

We got into the city around one (only 12 hours ago, jeez it feels longer) and walked to the Neil Simon Theatre. We were lucky that they hadn't sold all of the lottery tickets, so we were able to get front row tickets for $25 each. I called my friend Arbender who is in Hairspray and he came out and talked for awhile, but it was so cold today in the city that I felt bad and sent him back inside.

We grabbed McDonald's for lunch, then headed back to the theatre for a 2:00 matinee. Front row. I've seen this show 7 times, and everytime I see it I notice something new, something different a cast member is doing, a different note taken in a song, etc. and it just makes me smile. Diana DeGarmo (American Idol) and Ashley Parker Angel (formerly of O-Town) are both in the show, so it was nice to see familiar faces; Diana steals my heart everytime though. After the show, Arbender took us backstage and gave us a tour of the theatre. I've done it before, so it was nice to see how excited my friend was to be given an inside look at the workings of a major Broadway theatre, from wigs to props to sets to costumes. I took this cell phone picture from the stage, looking out onto the empty audience. Arbender then dropped a bomb and told me that he was cast in The Little Mermaid, set to make its debut this Fall. He'd be leaving Hairspray to be the Prince Eric cover in a huge show. I am so proud of him. (Congratulations again Arbender!)

The theatre where Hairspray is playing is the Neil Simon Theatre, located one block from the Gershwin Theatre, which currently houses the musical Wicked. Julia Murney is currently playing the part of Elphaba, a part for which I've declared my love in prior blog posts. I first saw Julia a few years ago in a huge benefit production of Children of Eden for World AIDS Day at the Riverside Cathedral in Harlem. She was glorious. I've loved her ever since. I own her CD, a plethora (thanks for the word Gabriel) of different performances she's given while on tour with Wicked, and other random Julia stuff. Until today, I still hadn't met the woman. My friend and I decided we'd check out the stage door at Wicked to see if we could say hello to her. As we get there, Kendra Kassebaum (Glinda) came out and was more than happy to take a picture with me. She was so sweet, and awfully cute in her coat and scarf. I looked like a goof.

Shortly after that, Julia came out. I told her how much I enjoyed her (not in a creepy way, lol) and that I was really grateful that she was here in New York. She said that she'd love to do a concert if Wicked didn't keep her so busy. I asked for a picture and she was so kind to take one with me on my camera phone. It was freezing, as you can tell by what we're wearing. I was so nervous and excited and a whole bunch of things I can't explain. Hence the smile. The goofy smile. What a thrill it was to meet her. Nice to feel so young inside again. Toys 'R Us and Julia Murney do that to me, I guess.

After that, it was around 5:00, so we went over to the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I had heard really great things about this show and plus, Barrett Foa (one of my big Broadway crushes) is in the current cast, so I had my sights set on seeing this show. Again, by some stroke of luck, they had 2 student tickets available for $25 each for the evening performance. Are you kidding? There's no way we could pass that up.

Having a few hours to kill, I picked up a cute pair of underwear at H&M, then we did a little sight-seeing around the area, then went to the big Toys 'R Us in Times Square. It's a place I love to go when I'm feeling too much like an adult; it helps you reconnect with all the things you loved to do when you were younger. Except that huge dinosaur they have there, that thing is way too scary for me. Stay AWAY from that. I snapped some pictures with some Candy Land characters, pictures provided for your enjoyment. Then we decided to grab dinner at Mars 2112, a tourist-themed restaurant on 50th and Broadway. My friend Samantha is the person who introduced me to this restaurant one year for my birthday, before taking me to see Rent for my first time, and I've gotten more mileage out of that restaurant than I can explain. (Love and miss you on days like this Samantha, mwah)

With dinner over, we made our way back to Spelling Bee, and pumped ourselves up for a fun show. See why I was excited? Look at that boy. Ugh, it's not right how cute he is, I'm telling you. Well he was sooooo funny in the show, I definitely want to go back and see it again, with or without Barrett in the cast (but preferably with, should I have to choose) because it's just a laugh-a-minute show that is really smart in the way that it presents itself. The whole theatre is set to look like you're in a high school gymnasium, with banners hanging everywhere, ads for local stores, and hand-made posters for Student Council elections. It's all very impressive in its presentation. I'm not sure how much of it you can see in my cell phone picture, but I thought I'd include it to share with you. The music is fun and smart and silly. And Barrett is in it, so.... :-)

What a great day, just to be able to completely let go of any responsibility, concerns about the future, regrets, hesitations, any of that everyday stuff and just have a day to giggle and smile and feel like a little kid again. I didn't have to worry about dragging my goalie bag all around the city and transferring subways and making it to certain rinks on time or posting a shutout. None of that mattered today. Today was just me and my friend doing whatever we wanted on our own terms, and having the time of our lives. I don't know what it is about New York that just makes you feel so grown-up and so young all at the same time, but I love it. I'll need to do that again sometime soon. This is the kind of happiness you stock up on for a rainy day.

Tattoo 2?

2007-01-22T12:56:00.000-05:00

I already have a tattoo on my left thigh, but I'm thinking about getting another tattoo. (Jessica said they're addictive, I had no idea...)

I want to get something that represents the idea of holding fast to your own truth and doing what is right for yourself. It would be a representation of all that I've gone through with T.R.U.T.H. If you've seen "Wicked" or are familiar with the story, that's the idea I want to go for. A person who stands up for what they believe is right, regardless of how they will be labeled. I've always felt an identification with the character of Elphaba, and so ultimately I guess that her hat would be a good symbol, but I think I'd want it to look very specific. It would look like the hat in this picture, but would be small, and maybe on my wrist?

Any suggestions would be helpful, because there's always the safety of getting a New Jersey Devils tattoo.

Tournament News and More...

2007-01-22T12:01:00.000-05:00

Exciting news...I was just asked to be the starting goaltender for a tournament team in Philadelphia at the end of March into April! I'm really excited about the prospect of finishing higher than we did at our last tournament in Aston, which was 5th place. I'll be playing alongside a great bunch of people from my league in NYC, most of whom were at the last tournament. The games are always fun with a really high level of skill, so it's nice to be able to just lay it all out there physically and compete with people who love the sport as much as I do. I come home after three days and I'm exhausted, but with the biggest feeling of satisfaction.

It's nice to be able to play with people from my league that aren't on my league team. With so many people in my league, I don't always get to interact with everyone in the same way I interact with my team. To go to a tournament and suddenly have 2 new defensemen in front of me is a weird concept; it's good and bad. I'm not sure who I can pass to, what skills the forwards have, or how comfortable my team is with me playing the puck. Conversely, I get to play with kids that I never get to play with normally. I get to set up plays that I'm not able to do with my own team. The whole thing is a really big rush.

Being a goalie is a big responsibility. Maybe the biggest, I don't know. I've always sort of looked at it as a privilege. I've always tried to look at the position not only as a defensive position, but also a position that has a lot of offensive potential. I'm not just guarding the net, I'm controlling the puck for my team. Sure, my job is to stop the puck, but once I've stopped the shot, the puck is my responsibility, and if my team has a good transition game, I then have an opportunity to create a good scoring chance. I think the position carries with it the enormous burden of accountability, but not more than any of my teammates.

Ok, I've gone on a hockey rant. Rather than delete it, I'll leave it up for anyone who is interested. Sorry for the rant.

Tournament is at the end of March. Updates when I have them.

I Don't Need To See That!

2007-01-17T02:11:00.000-05:00

You NEED to go out and buy Lisa Kudrow's all-too-short-lived HBO series "The Comeback." It is brilliant.

The show is a spoof of a reality TV show documenting the return of the once-popular actress Valerie Cherish (Kudrow) to primetime television in a sitcom called "Room and Bored."

Lisa Kudrow is so funny in this, and you will so quickly come to love her character, Valerie, not despite her quirks but almost because of them. At the end of the series, which sadly only ran for one season, I just sort of questioned the wisdom of how something like Britney and Kevin's "Chaotic" was considered for a second season, but the wonder of "The Comeback" lasted only one. It's pretty much my favorite short-lived television series, so just trust me when I tell you that you'll love it. The acting is spot-on, from Valerie all the way down to her assistant. The writing is delightful and yet respectful, with really delicate moments in Valerie's life played in a way that makes you feel so very much a part of it all.

Pick it up.

Is It Possible?

2007-01-17T01:42:00.000-05:00

So here's what happened. I'm in a relationship with a great guy that I've been with for two years now. He knows who he is, he doesn't need the shout-out. Anyway...

So I met someone else. He's cute, he's funny, he's friends with my boyfriend's brother, and he's gay. I think we would get along really well. I think we could be friends.

But can you do that? And if you can, how do you initiate a friendship with someone? Is it bad to give someone your phone number if you're in a relationship? What if he already knows you're dating someone? Is it okay then?

My boyfriend is completely comfortable with me making friends with other people, regardless of sexual orientation. He's secure enough to know that when I'm looking for friends, he doesn't have to worry. So I approach this other boy and start talking to him.

Sure enough, I clam up like a 14-year old. My hands get sweaty, my face goes all red and blushy, I start stumbling over words. Guys, I'm a public speaker. I speak in front of enormous crowds all the time and answer really intimate questions about my personal life. Yet put me in front of a cute guy in a bookstore and I start worrying about social studies homework and meatloaf surprise in the cafeteria. It doesn't make sense.

Is it because I think he's cute? Is it because subconsciously it feels wrong to give another guy my phone number? I can't seem to figure it out. I get socially crippled by one person, then travel and speak to a thousand strangers about what it's like to come out to your parents.

So I gave him my phone number. And felt like a dork. Might as well have been on a note that said "Do you like me? Check One, Yes or No."

We'll see what happens. Maybe we'll become friends and laugh at this later on down the road.

Well...laugh at me, that is. Laugh at me.

Optimistic Voices

2007-01-17T01:23:00.000-05:00

With all of the fuss over the musical "Wicked," I thought this would be a good time to talk about one of my favorite songs from the original movie, "The Wizard of Oz."

While it might be construed as blasphemy in certain circles, I actually don't really care all that much for Judy Garland, or "Over the Rainbow" as a song. The idea of it is nice, but I think I only really look at it as a pretty song, and that's it. Nothing too deep.

In the original movie, there's a song called "Optimistic Voices." I love it. The lyrics are what will make you realize what song I'm talking about.

You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night

Hold onto your breath
Hold onto your heart
Hold onto your hope
March up to the gate
And bid it open--

You're out of the woods
You're out of the dark
You're out of the night

Step into the sun
Step into the light
March up to the gate
And bid it open!--open!

That's a good message, and I just wanted to give the song a bit more attention than it's gotten over the years.

Anyone have thoughts?

Poll: Which Picture? (2)

2006-11-15T01:35:00.000-05:00

Oh, or this picture...sorry I left it out of the initial post.

Poll: Which Picture?

2006-11-15T01:16:00.001-05:00

I am going full throttle (yes, like the Charlie's Angels sequel) into my public speaking work. So this week I've been making thousands of copies of my bio and information and sending it out to schools across the nation. I can't make up my mind regarding which picture I should use in my promotional bio, though.

So now I turn to you. Which of the pictures below should I use in conjunction with my mailings? The one in the green jacket is the one that they used when I was published in The Advocate. The one in the woods is just from a series of silly pictures my friend Melissa and I took one day. Click on any of the pictures to enlarge them, and keep in mind these pictures will be in black and white.

Thank you for your help!

End of the Line

2006-11-04T23:07:00.000-05:00

Here we are folks, at the end of another hockey season, having finished one game shy of the championship, in third place. Oh yea, and someone you know was voted Goalie of the Year.

Do you love it?

Setonian Article

2006-10-27T00:16:00.000-04:00

When approached to pen a column on the four-year anniversary of the hate crime at Seton Hall University, I was initially excited. Full text of the article can be read at:

www.setonian.com

The article is featured in the Editorial section under "Guest Column."

T.R.U.T.H. Posts

2006-10-17T16:47:00.000-04:00

Below you will find the five parts of my story regarding the T.R.U.T.H. lawsuit, etc. The way this blog site is set up, it lists the posts backwards, with my most recent entry first. Works well to keep you updated, but not so well when telling a story. Scroll down to Part One, then read up. Thanks.

T.R.U.T.H. Part Five

2006-10-17T13:11:00.000-04:00

Immediately after the lawsuit was filed, I gave a press conference on the steps of the courthouse. Some of you may have seen the coverage on television or the internet, read about it in the newspapers, or heard it on the radio. The media was very kind. I remember a question that was asked at the press conference. A reporter from Fox 5 was in the front row, and asked me the following question:

“Why didn’t you just go to another Catholic school that already had this kind of group? Why try to be a groundbreaker, a trend-setter, when you could have gone somewhere else that already had the group? Why not go somewhere else?”

My answer to that question was simple.

“Because we shouldn’t have to.”

I asked the University, and then the Court, to give students the full recognition that other groups receive. The push for recognition was seen on the front pages of many newspapers. It should be said, though, that I did not sue for money, or for fame, or for attention. I didn’t care about that. I still don’t. I’ve never been interested in being a groundbreaker. I only want students at Seton Hall to be able to endure together what I endured alone. In becoming the victim of a hate crime in my freshman year, I learned first-hand the importance of finding allies to help you through difficult times.

After working its way through smaller courts, Romeo v. Seton Hall University found itself in the New Jersey Supreme Court. That's a long way from a small town in upstate New York.

Look at your classmates, your friends, the people around you. These are the people that you must work with in an effort to better our world. It's only when you see and feel the people behind the organization and not simply the organization itself, that you can ever really begin to affect change and begin the act of doing good in a community.

I am not going to sit here at my computer and tell you that I have some great power to make a difference in the world, for I alone do not. But it has never been doubted that strength exists in numbers. If you wish to change something, then work together and do it. Don't wait. A lot of the problems in our world exist because people are forgetting how to care.

Tolerance, in respect to sexual orientation, has taken many bold steps in the past decade. I am proud to have played a part in this. But there is still much more to do, and there is still a war to be won. And as I was told growing up, it's important that we do this; be a soldier.

I was always told that I could change the world when I grew up. I beg to differ, because I know that none of us have to wait until we grow up to make a real difference in the world. The actions that we take now, including our inactions, have a direct bearing on our lives in the future.

I leave you with a quote from Ursula K. LeGuin, who says this:

"It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end."

For more information about the T.R.U.T.H. lawsuit, please visit my attorney’s website at www.shanahanlaw.com.

I travel to Universities and Colleges year-round as part of this on-going initiative. For booking information, please e-mail rcromeo30@hotmail.com.

T.R.U.T.H. Part Four

2006-10-17T12:57:00.000-04:00

During the first semester, I was thrown into a situation that really tested my character, and I feel that I emerged as a stronger person. I had friends to fall back on; when all else failed, I at least knew I had truth on my side.

Truth, though, is a funny thing. Everyone’s heard the expression, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I suppose the same could be said for truth.

I get it. Being gay isn’t wrong. It’s just another way of life. But in the same breath that I say I know that it’s acceptable to be gay, others can say just as equally that they know it isn’t.

I spent the rest of my freshman year becoming involved on campus, building bridges, and fitting into the community.

I was starting to look at the students around me with a different set of eyes. Where before, I felt I didn’t know anyone, I now felt like I know that people were going to support me in this cause. And if people don’t support me, that’s fine. As Robert Frost said, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

At the conclusion of my freshman year, I took some much-needed time off and returned home for the summer. The thing about running away is this: problems rarely work themselves out unless you take some initiative.

In the year after the incident on my door, the same crime was perpetrated against gay students six times. When you factor in our Christmas break, Spring break, and summer, that means that a gay student woke up every month branded with the word “faggot.”

Something had to be done, and I knew exactly what that was.

During the summer between my freshman and sophomore year, I poured all of my effort into setting up a timeline with which to tackle the complex issues surrounding the formation of a student group for GLBT students. Every night at 6:00, I would stop whatever I was doing and start researching, making phone calls, e-mailing, etc.

I returned from my summer feeling rested and rejuvenated, confident in the idea that I would be doing the right thing. I knew that, during my sophomore year, the battle for equality and tolerance would begin.

In October of my sophomore year, I held a program titled “Stepping Out, Stepping Up: An Interactive Forum.” I asked a variety of different speakers to come and present on several topics, including a priest, a psychologist, as well as representatives from Freshman Studies and Community Development. While each speaker presented on different topics, all agreed that the needs of students were paramount. Students also agreed. The sentiment from the students who attended the program seemed to mirror that of most people: “There isn’t a valid reason that Seton Hall can’t have a group for GLBT students and allies.”

In November, I had readied myself to finally propose the group, a group that had previously only existed as an idea in my mind. Ideas like these are the ones that stir in you until you do something about them, the ideas that infiltrate every part of your life.

In proposing a gay-straight alliance, I wanted to name the group appropriately, something youthful and edgy, but still respectful and professional. I met with a friend and interested member who was far more creative than me when it came to things like that. We talked about the values that were important to the formation of the group, and the principles that we wanted our name to reflect. After awhile, he suggested the name T.R.U.T.H., which stands for Trust, Respect, and Unity at The Hall. That was a keeper.

I handed in my packet of information, and applied for provisional recognition under the Student Organization Advisory Council. I met all requirements as laid out by the Department of Community Development. I spoke to the members of the Council and answered their questions in an open and honest way.

“Is this a group for just gay and lesbian students?” No, this group is open to anyone who is supportive of putting an end to discrimination based on sexual orientation.

“Is everyone in this group gay?” No, it’s a very nice balance of people from all walks of life, including both homosexuals and heterosexuals.

”Are any of your members Catholic?” That’s not a question that we formally ask students before they can join. Religion doesn’t play a factor for members of the group, even though some of our members are Catholic.

”How does T.R.U.T.H. fit in with the Catholic Church?”

“Wouldn’t this group be against the teachings of the Catholic Church?”

Many questions of this sort were asked concerning T.R.U.T.H.’s specific relationship with the Catholic doctrine. The administrators asked me questions centering on the mission-attentiveness of my group, and what role I saw the University playing in the group itself. I responded in the same way that I have responded to every person that has asked me a similar question since that time.

People hear the words “gay” and “Catholic” in the same sentence and there is almost an instantaneous hesitation, a resistance almost. I can tell you that I was raised Catholic, and never once was I told to hate people, or treat some people differently than other people. But I am not an expert in Catholic Theology, so I talked with people who were. I contacted administrators at Catholic University of America, one of the premier Catholic colleges in the United States. I talked with them about what I planned on doing, and asked for some words of advice. You see, Catholic University of America has had a group for gay and lesbian students since the late 1980’s.

Thusly, I knew that people there had figured out a way in which gay students and a Catholic administration could find a successful compromise and work together to end discrimination on campus in a way that was completely faithful to the mission of the Catholic Church, and with full respect to Catholic teachings on sexuality.

Therefore, in seeking provisional recognition for a group whose members could potentially have sexual orientations that differed slightly from normative acceptable Catholic theology, I added the following phrase directly into the group’s mission statement:

“Our organization will not represent its views as those of the University, nor will it permit any ambiguous use of the University’s name to imply that the University approves of homosexual lifestyles, of homosexual activity, or of homosexual behavior as morally neutral.”

What this meant was that, by affording T.R.U.T.H. provisional recognition, Seton Hall was taking a step towards tolerance and equality without compromising its Catholic mission or heritage. To afford provisional recognition to T.R.U.T.H. would be for the University, in essence, to do what many other Catholic schools across the nation have already done, embrace diversity in all its facets. The mission statement of our group was flawless when it came to the Catholic mission, for I mirrored the goals for my group after not only the mission of other Catholic institutions, but our own institution as well. Seton Hall’s policy on racial and ethnic discrimination was used extensively in the construction of the mission statement for T.R.U.T.H. My reasoning behind that was simple. If the University denied provisional recognition to T.R.U.T.H. on the basis of the Catholic mission, it would ultimately be an act of hypocrisy, for my goals and the goals of our University were one and the same.

As it turned out, though, I didn’t have to worry about the Student Organization Advisory Council or their denial, because T.R.U.T.H. was approved by SOAC. But, it was at that point that the Vice President of Student Affairs, Laura Wankel, stepped in and made the decision to deny the group. After consultations from many sources, and rumors have flown concerning exactly who was involved in the discussion concerning this group, although that is neither here nor there, T.R.U.T.H. was denied. The statement issued by Dr. Wankel contained a “Memorandum of Understanding.”

The “Memorandum” was almost exactly what I expected it to be. In planning all of these things from the ground up (at that point my seventh month working on these things), I refused to be taken by surprise, so I had planned the recourse for my group regardless of the decision. I didn’t expect a “no,” but I also doubted that I would get a full “yes.” I expected a compromise, and a compromise was what I got. The key word here, and please keep it in your mind, is compromise.

The deal that the administration offered contained several parts, including what we would be allowed to do and what we would not. It seemed as if the list of “yes you may” was far exceeded by the list of “no you may not.” The group was prohibited from having any type of social activity, as defined by Dr. Wankel. Every move the group made would have to be passed across her desk before it was approved. We were also barred from holding any sort of religious services. Nowhere in my proposal did I ask to hold religious services, but for some reason, that privilege was being implicitly denied. We couldn’t use the name “T.R.U.T.H.”, because the word truth is considered a synonym for Christ. Also in the “Memorandum of Understanding,” there was a line that stuck out to me from the very first time I read it. At the end of the document, the following lines had been added:

“These guidelines are subject to change at the discretion of the University at any time. The group acknowledges that, in accepting these guidelines, it will neither seek nor expect formal recognition by the University or elsewhere.”

By agreeing to that compromise, we would not be able to pursue formal recognition. This statement was later modified to make it clear that the sole focus of this group would not be to seek full recognition.

Some people who loved this compromise were quick to use gay marriage as a leverage point. They said, “If your ultimate goal is gay marriage, you don’t push for that right out of the gate. You take the hospital visits, then the tax exemptions, and then the domestic partnerships and you build from there.”

However, this arrangement was unacceptable to many members of my group, for when is it that the price you must pay outweighs that which you receive in return? Mohandas Gandhi is famous for his theory of “civil disobedience,” in which he states that when a law or rule is unjust, one has a duty to disobey it, in an effort to be the change one wishes to see in the world. Smart man.

I am not a selfish person, and I am not a stubborn person. I am someone who is more than willing to compromise.

But I refused to compromise my dignity.

I refused to remain silent.

I rejected the “Memorandum of Understanding” as inherently discriminatory and utterly unacceptable. I couldn’t do it.

But there were and continue to be students who are willing to work within the context of Dr. Wankel’s “Memorandum” in an effort to bring about change in our University community in the here and now. I respect and admire those students, the students whose passion and dedication to this issue are so strong and vehement that they are acting on them and putting forth their efforts to change the community in which we live for the better.

In laying the groundwork for this movement, as I have said, I refused to be the victim of circumstance. I was prepared for this denial, and ultimately, the work that would follow. I went through an attorney selection process and ultimately ended up hiring a lawyer who would represent me and the members of my group as we sought to work with the University in obtaining the same rights as every other group on campus receives. That’s perhaps the most important part of all of this. We weren’t asking for anything more, or anything less, than any other group on campus receives. We asked to be recognized by the University; the same University that, in a policy issued in October of 2000, stated the following:

“No person may be denied employment or related benefits or admission to the University or to any of its programs or activities, either academic or nonacademic, curricular or extracurricular, because of race, color, religion, age, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, handicap and disability, or veteran’s status.”

The document continues on, stating:

“…Policies are to be applied in all decisions regarding hiring, promotion, retention, tenure, compensation, benefits, layoffs, academic programs, and social and recreational programs.”

I saw this policy in high school, when I was still completely closeted, and saw it as my chance. This policy said that it wouldn’t discriminate based on sexual orientation, even when it came to social and recreational programs.

Growing up in a small town, it’s easy to adopt the “big fish in a small pond” mentality. When you want to start a club or group, you just do it. I felt confident that, based on Seton Hall’s own policy, I could start this group for students like me who were in the closet and just wanted friends, people to talk to that have gone through the same stuff.

I hope that it is clear that I am only asking for that which the University contractually promised it would give.

My lawyer contacted Seton Hall on February 6, requesting a meeting with Dr. Wankel and any members of the administration who wanted to attend. He stated that we preferred to resolve differences outside of the courtroom, but if Seton Hall refused to compromise, it would leave us with no choice but to have a court remedy the illegal conduct. From February 6 to March 10, we heard from the University but once. They said that they had passed the matter on to legal counsel.

I wanted nothing more than to work this issue out in a way that was meaningful and beneficial to both students and staff, without having to besmirch the University, its reputation, or its standing among the Catholic community. But when a University will not work things out, it’s hard to remain silent and watch injustice continue.

Injustice breeds ignorance, hate, and violence, nothing more, nothing less. Therefore, in an effort to end injustice based on the illegal criteria of sexual orientation, I filed suit against Seton Hall University on March 10, in the Essex County Superior Courthouse, on behalf of myself and the other members of T.R.U.T.H.

T.R.U.T.H. Part Three

2006-10-17T12:40:00.000-04:00

In the fall of my senior year of high school, I applied to two colleges. My number one choice was Seton Hall University, in South Orange, New Jersey. My second choice was the University of Albany.

I wanted a school in New Jersey, so that I could be closer to my dad, as well as the rest of my family that lived in New Jersey. Out of the 100 students in my high school graduating class, I was the only student who opted to come to New Jersey for college. I was proud of my choice, feeling that I was ready to carve out my own niche in the world. There were also other reasons that led me to choose Seton Hall over Albany, but we’ll get into those a little later.

My acceptance letter from Seton Hall arrived at my Walton house on December 24, 2001; I forgot to check the mail that day, and ended up opening my acceptance letter on Christmas morning.

I was very excited to be attending Seton Hall University, with its long-standing traditions of academic excellence. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted out of Seton Hall; I wanted to ready myself to succeed professionally in the world. I applied to the Hall as a Criminal Justice major, but by the end of my first semester realized that Sociology was a much more appropriate major for me.

I had made a decision prior to my first day at Seton Hall. In regards to the homosexuality issue, I had decided that I wasn’t going to hide my true self from anyone. I had lived my life as a secret forever, and I refused to continue to do that. I would be honest about my sexuality. If people accepted me, that would be fantastic; if they didn’t, that would be fine as well. I didn’t need the approval of other people to justify the feelings I had inside. I wouldn’t lie about who I was anymore.

At the same time that I said that I would be honest with people, though, I also had a very strong feeling about how I was going to do this. I didn’t want to use my sexual orientation as an identifier, for it was only one part of me. I decided that if I were asked point blank about my sexuality, I would give an honest answer; I would volunteer the information to people that I felt close to, but not as a means of introduction.

I opened up to a few people after the first two weeks at Seton Hall University, and they were completely accepting of the issue, and of me. It was a big shock coming from such a small school that certainly wouldn’t be the poster school for diversity. Suddenly I was at Seton Hall, where diversity was simply a way of life. I don’t really know what type of reaction I expected from people at college, but the natural accepting of something that had always seemed so uncomfortable to me was an enormous surprise, one that was not surprisingly refreshing and renewing.

I cannot begin to describe the feelings that I started to identify within myself within the first few weeks at college. For the first time in my life, I started to carry myself with confidence, with pride that I could finally be myself. I walked around campus with a smile on my face, and with pride in my heart; this pride came from the fact that I was, at last, living a life that was true.

I was completely and totally comfortable with the person that I was. I felt as if I was living life on my own terms; I refused to play a part any longer. I also realized that I wasn’t flaunting my sexuality, wasn’t rubbing my homosexuality in people’s faces. Living a life that was suited for me, I began my life for the first time, all over again.

Everything was going my way, from standpoints both academic and social. I was making the grades and making the friends. I couldn’t ask for anything more. People were accepting me; little did I know that things were about to be taken to a completely different level, one that I could never have prepared myself for.

Feeling more comfortable with my sexuality, I started to make friends at Seton Hall who were also gay. We would talk and share stories about how we had come out, and about how receptive people at Seton Hall were to the issue of homosexuality. We all seemed to agree that students really didn’t view homosexuality as a big issue; perhaps society was slowly beginning to change, or perhaps students were becoming more freethinking than their society was encouraging. Either way, homosexuality didn’t seem as if it mattered to most of the students at Seton Hall.

Had I spoken that last sentence, there would have been extra emphasis put on the word “most.” I learned that most of the students at my college accepted gay students, but most does not mean all. I learned this in a way that no homosexual student should have ever had to learn this. In my first two months at Seton Hall University, I became the victim of a hate crime.

Forever burned into my mind are the memories of what I saw when I found myself standing in front of my door when I returned to my dorm room one week shy of my 18^th birthday.

White walls and brown wooden door stained red with permanent marker, the words were everywhere. “Faggot,” “Queer,” and “Homo,” were just some of the words that now permanently adorned the tile surrounding the door to my room, in addition to the door itself. When I had been out over the night, someone who suspected my homosexuality had given voice to their suspicions, in the form of a cowardly act that marred my door. I called my friend Cassie to come over to my room and help me try to remove some of the graffiti.

Somewhere around two hours later, most of the marker had faded enough so that it wasn’t distinguishable. I thanked her for her help and she went back to her room. I walked back into my room and sat on my bed.

My spirit was broken. I didn’t know what to do. I had never encountered hatred like this before, only the subtle jabbing of a curious high school student. I had come into contact with ignorance, but never in such a blind manifestation.

In high school, I was always used to feeling empowered, feeling that I could truly do something that I felt passionate about, and could accomplish whatever I set my mind out to do. This vandalism knocked me down. How do you fight back against a faceless coward? I didn’t feel that I had any power to do anything; the loss of control was one of the things that bothered me the most.

But the part that truly bothered me was the sheer ignorance of the writing. Someone hated me because of something that was clearly misunderstood. I wasn’t these awful words on a door, was I? This thing came out of nowhere, and made me completely re-evaluate if my choice to be open was truly the smartest choice after all.

After a restless night, I decided that I wasn’t going to accept the vandalism on my door. This was a direct affront, not only to my property, but to my very character. Moreover, this was an assault on the entire gay community. I wouldn’t just lie in my bed and lament the ignorance; I would fight it with every breath in my body.

I approached the Hall Council of my Residence Hall with the situation, and asked the Residence Housing Director what could be done to get people to start talking about the issue. My hope was that, through greater dialogue and an increased discussion of the issues regarding sexual orientation, people would feel more comfortable. It was decided that all students living in my residence hall, which was somewhere around 300, would be mandated to attend a Town Hall style meeting in which the issue would be directly addressed. With an issue that affected me so directly, I asked to be a part of the meeting. I asked to speak.

With the help of the National Coalition Building Institute, the meeting was planned from start to finish. The meeting was scheduled to take place in October, just a few days before my eighteenth birthday.

News spread quickly through my residence hall that I would be speaking at an upcoming meeting on tolerance, and speculation built as to what topic I would specifically be covering.

With the meeting only a few days away, I received a call one night on the telephone in my room and asked to come to the room of my Resident Assistant. Once there, I saw that several of the Assistant’s from the building had already arrived. They asked me what I would be speaking about, and I told them exactly what my speech would entail. I had crafted a speech that was not confrontational, wouldn’t put anyone on the defensive, but still strongly addressed the issue of intolerance and prejudice on a college campus.

The Resident Assistants all agreed that, due to the situation, it would be in my best interest if I were to perhaps look into obtaining a campus security escort, should I find myself walking alone on campus after dark.

The idea of using a security escort was so foreign to me; I had come from a town in which no one locked their doors at night, where people trusted people. I believed that people were basically good at heart, and the idea that my physical well-being would be threatened had never seriously crossed my mind, at least, not seriously enough to actually obtain an on-campus security escort. I declined the escort, putting my faith in people. I left the room, knowing that I would need to rest in order to be fully prepared for the task that was at hand. In just a few days, I would be coming out to the entire campus of Seton Hall University.

I decided that since the incident in question had happened to me, I would know best how to speak to the crowd about the experience. I asked to speak, knowing full well that I would have to do something to show students the severity of the incident. While I did feel that I had a responsibility to do what was right, I also did not want to go over the top, to make the incident some plea for help, or worse yet, a bid for attention.

I spoke with a few friends about how to handle the speech. I was met with criticism on several fronts. The staff of my residence hall was unsure that coming out to the university would be in the best interest of my physical well-being. Both my high school and college friends shared in that opinion. Several members of the gay community thought that perhaps I was doing too much for the issue, and that I should simply let the problem fix itself, instead of playing such an active role. My gay friends thought that there was no need to push my sexuality in people’s faces, that it would accomplish nothing.

All of the people involved in the incident, the town hall meeting, and the speech itself found themselves asking me one question; what did I want to come from this meeting?

I wasn’t expecting instant tolerance to blanket my college campus after my speech, I didn’t expect the person who had defaced my door to suddenly come forward and confess. The only thing that I wanted as a result of my speech was to get people talking about the issues that concerned homosexuality. I felt that once people saw a “gay kid” on the level that I was hoping to present myself, a lot of their misconceptions would hopefully come to the surface, where they could be discussed in an open forum.

The day of the speech seemed to fly by. I had four classes that day, in addition to working three and a half hours at my on-campus job. I took a brief nap before the meeting in my friend Cassie’s room. The meeting was scheduled for 8:30 that evening. I slept until 7:30. When I woke up, the magnitude of the task before me finally hit; whether it was stress, fear, or a combination of the two, I was reduced to the uncontrollable sobs to which small children often succumb. I knew that, by speaking, I would be identified for the next four years as “the gay kid.” I wondered why this burden now rested on my shoulders, why I was the one who had volunteered to speak. This moment of doubt, of uncertainty, was very uncharacteristic for me.

I shrugged off my worries, which is easier to say now than it was to do then; I then walked back to my dorm, to shower and prepare for the meeting that was only an hour away.

Showered, shaved, and dressed, I walked to the auditorium with several friends. I was more nervous than I could ever remember being in my life, but I knew that nerves usually drove me to my best performances. Now, when I hear people talking about how public speaking is their biggest fear, I smile. Try putting the biggest secret of your life out there in front of a room of strangers, and then perhaps we can talk about fear.

The meeting started, and then it was time for me to approach the podium, to deliver my speech. I brought a folder up to the podium with me. Inside of the folder was my speech and a picture that I held clasped in my hands throughout the duration of the speech; the picture was of my best friend Liz, my rock.

About twenty minutes later, my speech had been delivered. No one had moved during the speech, no whispers, no giggling. My message had sunk in. Before I thanked the audience for their patience, I looked around the audience at the reactions I was receiving. My call for equality, for tolerance, had left several people crying, and many more smiling. I ended the speech and dropped my head to put my speech back into my folder.

When I raised my head, I saw the entire audience, somewhere around 500 people, standing and applauding. I lowered my head once more and held tight the picture of my best friend. When I again raised my eyes to the crowd, it was through tears, for I realized what had just happened. I had laid bare my soul to a room of strangers, and I had earned their respect. I left the podium to raucous applause and many pats on the back, smiles from the crowd, and encouraging comments.

Returning to my dorm a few hours later, without a security escort, there was a group of ten to fifteen students assembled outside of the entrance. As I started to walk by them, I felt a hand on my shoulder; one of the guys in the group had something to say to me, and felt the need to do it at that moment. In front of eight of his male friends and five or six female friends, this guy told me that he respected me and admired me for what I had done. I thanked him and told him that his respect did truly mean a lot to me.

I returned to my dorm room, where I again showered and then changed into my pajamas. Getting ready to go to bed, about four hours after the meeting was over, I decided to check my e-mail. There was one message, from a girl named Jessie. In this e-mail, which had been sent to most of the campus, Jessie came out to the University, giving voice to feelings that she had harbored inside of her; this e-mail reiterated in my mind that I had indeed done the right thing. It had been written immediately after the meeting had ended.

I had chosen to combat ignorance with knowledge, misconceptions with truth, and hatred with hope. I had taken a risk and put my character on the line in the hope that homosexuality would be seen in a different light by the students that attended the meeting; I feel that I was able to do that. I had taken a situation that was negative and tried with all that I had to turn it into a situation that was productive for both the heterosexual and homosexual communities as a whole. I did my part, and the audience did theirs.

Looking back, I have no regrets about anything that happened; this includes the original vandalism on my door. I no longer am hurt by what happened to me; in fact, I am thankful, for it allowed the issue to be brought to the forefront.

But I also know that with great opportunity comes great responsibility. I believe it is a direct result of my upbringing that I now believed that what had happened to me had happened for a reason. Now being a public figure at Seton Hall University, I had the chance to do something. The thing I had come there to do.

T.R.U.T.H. Part Two

2006-10-17T12:24:00.000-04:00

I talked to my best friend Liz almost every day during the summer before my freshman year of college. On the night of July 10, we had a conversation that lasted for about two hours. We discussed high school, college, life in general really. We talked about our futures, and the need that both of us felt to do what was right, what was just. After a two hour conversation, I knew that the time had come to break the silence.

I called Liz on the night of July 11, 2002, and told her that I was gay. As my best friend in the entire world, the girl for whom I would lay down my life, her reaction would shape the course of my life. I don’t remember the exact words that I used to open my world to her, but I remember the first words she said in response. “Are you kidding?”

At first I thought that she didn’t want to believe that I was gay. I then realized that she simply couldn’t believe it. I had acted in every way the part of a heterosexual male, convincing even my best of friends that I was straight. I had done the job well, because it took another minute or two before Liz believed that the words I spoke were finally the truth.

Whereas I remember the first words Liz spoke in response, I also remember what she said after she finally understood what I was telling her. When Liz was at last able to understand that I truly meant that I was gay, she said the words that keep people strong in the hardest of trials; she simply said, “I love you Anthony.”

I’ll never forget the night that I told Liz that I was gay. I felt nauseous, excited, and scared all at once. There has never been a harder thing to do than come out to my best friend. With an opinion that I valued more than any other, Liz’s reaction was what gave me strength to live my life the way I have chosen to live it since that day. I knew that telling Liz had changed me inside, because now there was at least one person that I could be totally honest with, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve received a considerable deal of criticism because I chose to share my story with Liz before I did with my Walton parents. The reason for this is two-fold.

I didn’t feel as if there was a natural obligation to tell my parents everything that was happening in my life. Struggling for many years to be accepted by my parents, I didn’t feel that I was accepted even before I came out. In my mind, if I wasn’t accepted before I brought homosexuality into the equation, what made me think I would be accepted after that? In my thinking, my parents didn’t deserve to know. I would much sooner tell Liz, one of the few people who had been a constant in my life, a rock to which I always found myself anchored.

The second reason that I had to keep my Walton parents out of the loop, and perhaps the most prominent of reasons, was that I knew my parents wouldn’t be accepting of the “gay thing” as a whole. My parents, the ones with whom I lived in Walton, always seemed very prejudicial to me. When I would confront them about this, though, they’d claim that they weren’t prejudicial at all. I knew what I felt, however, and the decision that was right for me, at that time, was to first tell Liz.

I knew that there were a couple of other friends that I needed to tell before I went away to college, so when I was able to travel back to Walton for a night, my friends all met at Liz’s house to say goodbye to me for the summer. On a hot July night in a small town upstate, I finally told a few more people the truth about my sexuality. I felt confident that I had done the right thing, to tell the truth, face-to-face, to the people that mattered most to me.

After these few people knew the truth, I had planned on telling my parents, eventually. I planned to tell my parents in New Jersey first, followed by my parents in Walton. I returned to New Jersey from Walton the night I told my friends with very real ideas in my head about when I wanted to tell my parents. Little did I know that the option of telling my parents face-to-face is something I would never have to deal with.

In September of my freshman year at college, I phoned home to talk with my mom in Walton about how school was going, how I enjoyed my classes, and random college events that I knew she would want to hear about.

The tone of our conversation was uncomfortable to begin with; I knew that my mom had something that was bothering her, something that she was hesitant to bring up in our discussion. I asked her to talk to me about everything that was on her mind, and she said that when I came home we would have to talk about some things. I had an idea that perhaps my mom knew, but I played the fool, asking her what she meant. My mom said that there were some rumors going around town about me that she would like to talk about with me. When I asked what those rumors were, knowing full well the entire time what my mother was about to tell me, she said that we needed to figure out a way to stop people from saying that I was gay, for apparently someone approached her at work with the startling revelation that they had heard I was gay.

She knew. I knew that she knew. But this wasn’t the way things were supposed to go down; I had planned exactly how I was going to tell my mom, and now small-town gossip had brought the truth to her ears. It hardly seemed fair that other people were able to tell my mom my greatest truth without having any verification from me as to whether or not it was true.

“Well, are you gay?” That was her next question for me, to which I simply responded, “Yes.”

In a quick tone, instantly she responded, “Well I still love you and accept you.” That sentence sounded so forced that it came out sounding as one word. I knew that she wasn’t alright with it, but it was something she knew that she had better learn how to work with, and quickly. We hung up the phone, after I asked my mom to at least allow me to tell my dad. My reasoning was that I was going to call my dad on the phone and let him in on the “hot gossip.”

I hung up with my mom, waited two or three seconds for the line to reset, and then dialed my dad’s number. It was busy. I knew, at that moment, the exact reason that my dad’s telephone was busy. My mom was on the phone with him, and I knew it.

I left my room, deciding that I would call my dad later on in the night. I walked around campus for about an hour; I knew that my life was changed that day, and I tried to prepare myself for the phone conversation that I would inevitably have to make later that night.

Sure enough, the next couple of hours seemed not to exist, for it was suddenly time for me to give my dad a call. I took a deep breath, and dialed his number for the second time that day; this time the results were different, as I heard the phone ring. My Dad informed me that my mother had called him earlier in the day. He then said, “Anthony, what are you doing?”

I paused for a moment, took a breath, and simply said, “Men?”

He started laughing.

We talked for somewhere close to an hour, with the end result being quite different than the reaction of my mom.

Whereas my mom seemed to feign acceptance for my benefit, my dad did not. My dad doubted me, refusing to acknowledge that I was gay. He suggested that, because of my young age, seventeen years old at the time the call was made, it was impossible for me to know exactly what my sexual orientation was. I tried to explain to my dad that I was certain that this was my way of life, that I had known it for the majority of my life. My dad, unaware of how long I had carried this secret inside of me, remained skeptical. He could not fathom the idea that his son, whom he had watched grow up, could know already that he was gay. I explained that I was sorry to disappoint him, but that it was true.

I then asked how it came to pass that he learned of my sexual orientation. He said that my mom had called him earlier in the evening and said, “George, are you sitting down?” From there, she had told him everything we had talked about. I had not been able to tell my parents my story, and now they all knew. It didn’t seem fair, but it also took a lot of the pressure off of me; I didn’t have to search for the words that would have been the hardest to speak.

Lying in bed that night, a lot of thoughts were running through my head. I knew that, at long last, I could finally begin to pursue my own life, founded on truth. Was it a relief that my parents knew? I guess that it was, but their reactions were what continued to run through my head.

In my mind, homosexuality still continued to be a very taboo topic. My parents had reacted in such a way as a family does when one of its members is stricken with cancer. Neither set of parents denied homosexuality existed, but they were able to put it out of mind, knowing that it would never be brought onto their household. Both parents treated the truth about my sexual orientation in two very different ways; I’m not sure which one I should be more pleased with. Both reactions were not the desired effect, but that could very well be because they did not come out of the ideal circumstances. I was scared to tell my parents, but it was clear that neither set of parents was going to hate me because of this new part to our relationship.

So, while it may not have been the best way for my parents to find out, or even the best of reactions on either front, the truth had come to the surface; I was breathing, and now able to live my life in any way that I chose.

My parents knew, my friends knew, my town knew; all of the foundations that I had laid in two towns, in two different states, were suddenly changed, and I would simply have to wait to see if, upon my return from college to either New Jersey or New York, the relationships themselves were dramatically altered. One way or another, I had more important things on my mind.

College was here.

T.R.U.T.H. Part One

2006-10-17T12:09:00.000-04:00

It can never be said that I didn’t do everything I possibly could to keep people from knowing. I dressed the part, adopted the mannerisms, and made all of the comments generally associated with a typical heterosexual male. I did everything right. There was just one problem; I was gay.

I was raised in a non-traditional Catholic family, living with my mom and step-father and their two children in Walton, a small town in upstate New York, in the valley of the Catskill Mountains. My dad and step-mother lived in New Jersey. I was able to visit my dad frequently enough, at holidays and summers and special occasions. My parents were officially divorced when I was in third grade. I’ve heard that there is a certain burden of guilt that is carried by a child of divorce; I was lucky enough to have escaped that, realizing that a divorce is sometimes the best thing for a family.

Living in a small rural town had its ups and downs. It seemed as if no one had any privacy, as gossip spread quickly, not only through our school system, but through our entire community. The one thing that can be said for life in the country, though, is that everyone knows everyone else. I can say that there were 100 people in my graduating class. I knew each and every student that was in my grade, and that makes me smile. There’s just a certain camaraderie that goes with a small school. While this is an opportunity for many to truly express themselves, I often found myself feeling trapped by the size of my town.

I try to look back and remember the first time that I realized that I was gay. I surely have to look further back than high school, and middle school. I know for a fact that I expressed homosexual tendencies as early as elementary school.

Before living in Walton, I did live in New Jersey, and it was there I first realized that I was gay, around the age of 6 or 7. It was never a big deal for me; I just knew that I would rather look at boys than at girls.

It would confuse me, though, that my parents were always setting up play-dates for me with a little girl named Katie. I figured they just wanted me to have a friend, so that’s what I thought we became. Katie would come over to my house and we’d do homework together, and things were fine. One day, though, Katie asked if she could kiss me. I did what every young boy, regardless of sexual orientation, has done since the beginning of time. I kindly explained to her that I would not be kissing her, because she, of course, had cooties, and I certainly didn’t want them. Looking back now, I can see that this was really the place where I started to think of reasons why I chose not to be intimate with one girl or another. Katie was confused, but I told her that I just wanted to be friends.

Flash forward to high school. At that specific point in my life, the majority of my friends were male. This was by chance. I didn’t pick my friends; we all just kind of found each other. I was always on edge, though, feeling that perhaps I would show some sign of attraction to another guy, or give even the slightest of hints in regards to my sexual orientation, and that my carefully constructed façade would crumble, exposing my true self to the people around me. I did what I felt I had to do in order to protect myself from criticism, and shield myself from ignorance.

In reality, there were probably many options that I could have pursued that would have ensured that my secret was kept. In my mind, though, my options were few. I looked around and saw that the men who were most accepted in the community were the men who were in a relationship. Men with girlfriends couldn’t be gay, not only in my eyes, but as I saw it, in the eyes of our society.

It was with great hesitation that I entered my first long-term relationship with a girl. Her name was Megan, and I genuinely can say that I loved her. She was tall, with long brown hair and a gorgeous set of eyes. I loved being with her, talking to her on the phone, going to the movies, generally spending time with her. However, I felt no sexual attraction to her. And this is through no fault of hers, must I say. I simply felt no desire to pursue things on a sexual level. For a brief period of time, though, I actually thought that being with her was what I wanted. I realized that what I really sought in Megan was a friend with whom I could do all of the things that friends would do.

We were together on and off for a span of close to three years, leading up to my entrance into high school. I did the things with Megan that I thought a boyfriend and a girlfriend should be doing. I did everything right. I kissed her when she wanted to be kissed, held her when she needed to be held, lent a shoulder when the days were hard, and did the romantic things that I thought would make her happy; the highest point of our relationship was undoubtedly the surprise picnic I planned to celebrate the one year anniversary of our first kiss, with all of the foods present that we had eaten on the eve of that kiss.

I was a good boyfriend. Megan was a good girlfriend. Everything should have been fantastic. It wasn’t, and I can identify this time as one of the loneliest time periods in my life. I had never felt more alone or unsure of myself than when I was in this relationship. I was bottling in everything that I felt in my heart, denying myself the freedom that truth would bring, all in the hopes of keeping some semblance of order in a life that was anything but ordered. This was not a pleasant way to live, but in my situation, it was the only way.

The idea to be honest about my true feelings was never a realistic possibility for me. I guess that I was afraid to tell Megan the truth for a multitude of reasons. I was nervous that she would be upset with me that I had “led her on” for so long a period. I was scared that she wouldn’t want to talk to me again.

I was also unwilling to give those people with suspicions regarding my sexuality the benefit of having been right the entire time. Sure, people suspected that I was gay, but I would vehemently deny any accusation. After all, I had a girlfriend, didn’t I? And men with girlfriends weren’t gay.

Nonetheless, after almost three years of a relationship, one that was founded on the basis of self-protection and security, I decided that the right thing to do would be to end my “romantic” involvement with Megan. I didn’t give my sexual orientation as a reason for my decision, but I did say that I needed to explore my sense of self, and I felt I wasn’t able to do that while I was in a relationship. Megan said that she was disappointed, but that we all have a little exploration to do in order to decide who we are inside. I only wonder now if perhaps, deep inside, Megan understood after all.

After our September break-up in freshman year, I never dated another girl for the rest of high school.

I had no plans to tell the friends I made in high school the truth about the person that I was inside. I made the decision in middle school, realizing that my town was not a place where homosexuality was tolerated. My secret would be kept. And, for the most part, I kept that promise to myself.

There were so many times, though, that I just wanted to scream the truth as loud as I possibly could, regardless of the consequences. This is a feeling that is common to homosexual men that have not yet “come out of the closet.” As I have described previously, the closeted homosexual lifestyle can sometimes be one of great loneliness. Speaking from personal experience, a closeted homosexual man is constantly on the defensive, always choosing his words deliberately and meticulously. The ramifications of being “out” in our society is a scary thought, judging by the experiences of young gay men who have come before us. One needs only to look to Matthew Shepard, a young man whose life was taken from him based solely on the fact that he was gay, to see why gay men are hesitant to be truthful with the world.

I know that in my personal story, I would definitely classify my actions as defensive. Everything I said had to be carefully constructed to give the impression that I was straight, because I was simply too scared to admit to people that I was gay. Being surrounded with female friends should have been easier than being around guys. And, it was. But it was still very trying; I don’t think the word “exhausting” would be too much of an exaggeration, in retrospective.

I had friends that were guys, though, with whom I would spend time. These were the most stressful of times. Suddenly, it seemed as if all that was discussed was who had accomplished what with whom. As sexual stories amounted, I felt the need to be a part of this, and I would make up stories about girls that I had done things with. Always the avid storyteller, no one ever suspected that I was being dishonest about my sexual encounters.

I was not honest about my true feelings; I, in fact, was dishonest, in the sense that I would go out of my way to make people believe that I was heterosexual. Making sexually explicit comments to my male friends became a way of life. Instead of having them see that I was uncomfortable with talking about girls, they saw that I was very eager; discomfort was quickly mistaken for the normal sexually-laced conversations of teenage boys.

I don’t know if I can blame this period of my life on anyone but myself. My friends surely didn’t force me to make sexually charged comments about girls; they didn’t put pressure on me to respond to their stories of sexual conquests. I guess this was a direct result of my own insecurities. Everyone wants to be a part of something, to fit in. The desire to shape myself into someone that fit in was overwhelming. And I wanted so badly to have close friendships with guys; I thought the only way to do that was to make myself into the person that was most similar to them. Making the conscious choice to lie about my past had a direct determination on my future. The more stories I spun, the harder it would be to eventually tell people that I was gay.

Conformity is a hard thing to deal with, for it strips away all sense of individuality, takes away the very essence of a person. When I look back to high school, I realize that I’m not sure who I was. I’d like to think that my sense of self was very developed, but how is that possible when I never voiced the feelings I carried inside?

Zoom in now on June 2003. I graduated from high school. I had made it. Whether the bearing of my cross is seen as positive or negative, it was nonetheless a success. I had made it through school with no one learning that I was gay. For close to twelve years, I was able to keep a secret about myself from everyone. I should have been thrilled that no one knew, for I had recognized my feelings long before graduation, set a goal of silence, and accomplished that goal. It should have been a proud moment. But with the silence that all too often accompanies homosexuality, silence is not a proud thing, it is hurtful. I had strategically misled everyone that was close to me over the course of many years, people who were truthful with me, had shared all of their secrets with me. I was lying to my best friends, and there was no way that I could find any pleasure in that.

I decided that I would tell my friends over the summer, that I would finally let them in. This was a decision that I came to rather easily after graduation. I knew that I could not come out of the closet while I was in high school. As sad as it is to say, my school was not open to the idea of homosexuality. People were judgmental, prejudiced, and unable to accept anyone that was outside of their scope of understanding.

This was not only true for the students with which I attended school; this was true for many of the faculty as well. It was common knowledge that there were several teachers that were vocal proponents of equality, teachers that would do anything to see that all students felt as if they were an integral part of bettering our school system. On the other hand, though, there were teachers who were very closed-minded, teachers that I know harbored suspicions of my homosexuality, and treated me accordingly.

My high school was very proud of our football team, and any guy that didn’t fit into the stereotypical “jock” category was always treated a little differently than those who did.

High school was not the place for me to come out. But when high school was over, I didn’t see any visible roadblocks to finally opening up to my friends. I made the decision that I would get my closest friends together and tell them my story, from start to finish.

T.R.U.T.H. Intro

2006-10-17T12:02:00.000-04:00

This week marks the four-year anniversary of the hate crime that changed my life at Seton Hall University, and laid the foundation for a three-year legal battle that rocked a college campus and had ripples nationwide. And I found myself in the middle of it all. The easiest way to get through this story is to do it in pieces. The first part will be the introductory section, and hopefully by reading it you'll be able to get an insight into my life which should help to set the stage for the story to come.

FYI

2006-10-04T23:14:00.000-04:00

The other day, I deleted the17th comment from my blog that asked a question about or referred to T.R.U.T.H. 17 comments since I started this blog last May isn't so bad I guess, based on how it used to be. So here's how it's going to go. I'm going to talk about this one time. And then never again on here. If I get comments, I'm probably going to delete them, so just realize that. When I choose to talk about this, it will be the first and only time I discuss this, and it will be done on my terms.

teamparis

2006-08-25T12:48:00.000-04:00

So I just got back from an intense photo shoot to model my new TeamParis shirt and it was so exciting to work with a photographer with such experience. I'll be posting final shots in the next few days after some edits, with full pictures of the shirts, but I just wanted to sneak you a preview of what's to come! Enjoy, and be on the lookout for TeamParis and TeamNicole!

Leaked!

2006-08-14T12:08:00.000-04:00

Now if you've been following my blog, you know I'm a fan of Paris Hilton. I've maintained that she gets a bad reputation for things that are sometimes out of her control. Having watched all four seasons of The Simple Life (and anxiously awaiting the 5th Season in 2007), I have a nice insight into a different side of Paris that the paparazzi doesn't often print. Animal rights activist, supporter (and occasional planner) of gay marriage, etc. Watch the show, you'll see why I love her.

Ok, so Paris Hilton's self-titled debut album Paris was recently leaked. I'm buying it on August 22 when it comes out, but until then I wanted to listen to it to get an idea of what Paris was giving us in her first album.

So obviously I was intrigued when I learned awhile back that she was releasing an album. And yes, I read all of the ridiculous criticisms of her album before anyone had heard any of it. I wanted to hear for myself. Now I should say, I do not support illegal downloads, and again, have every intention of buying this album when it's released on August 22. I listened because I was too anxious to wait. And if you can't wait, then listen: http://www.sendspace.com/file/vhe9t1 . But make sure to buy it. That link will give you the zipped file of her album, excluding her single "Stars Are Blind."

The album opens up with the song "Turn It Up", which is exactly what you would expect a Paris Hilton song to sound like. Lots of dance appeal, a lot of club-feel, lots of bass, etc. Then comes "Fightin' Over Me", which has a rap section by Jadakiss. It reminds me of a song J-Lo would do, and it's my least favorite on the album. But get through those two songs and you'll get to the real weight of the album.

The third song on Paris is her first single "Stars Are Blind." You can hear it on the radio, or watch the video on youtube. It's a good song that I like a lot. The lyrics are pretty standard pop lyrics, until you get to the part where Paris sings that she's "Got a heart, and soul, and body". That line is what I love about Paris. Most people don't see her that way; the media sells more papers talking about Paris' sexual exploits than her humanitarian contributions. But to hear Paris listing her heart and soul before her body is indicative of the way that she views herself. The album that follows this song reinforces that ideal. Paris is a person, and this album shows you more of that person than any paparazzi picture can do.

The next song is "I Want You." For anyone who has ever liked the Bee Gees song "Grease Is The Word", you'll love this song. The orchestrations are eerily similar to that song. It's a fun listen, and a good dance song.

Next up is "Jealousy." Wow. Paris maintains that this song isn't about Nicole Ritchie. That's very hard to believe. It's a very emotional song, and really cuts to the core of how Paris felt about the falling-out with Nicole. For those of you who don't know the background on that situation, it's pretty simple. Awhile back, Paris was asked to host Saturday Night Live. Nicole was upset at her for not being asked to co-host along with Paris, and that Paris should have demanded she be included in the show. Paris didn't control that. So the night Paris was on SNL, Nicole threw a party in Paris' honor, invited all of Paris' friends, who thought they were going to be watching Paris on SNL. Nicole showed Paris' sex tape, and the two haven't spoken since. Paris feels that Nicole was very jealous of her success and didn't know how to handle her rising celebrity. Neither of them have spoken publicly about it very much. So here are the lyrics to this song:

"I thought you were my best friend/I felt we'd be together 'til the end/You're not the girl I once knew/Tell me where she is 'cause she's not you/You used to be that shoulder/That shoulder I could lean on through it all/But now it's getting colder/There's no love between these walls/I was always happy/When I was watchin' you become a star/But you were only happy/When the world was openin' up my scars/And now I'm like the devil/Well if I am then what does that make you/You sold yourself for your fame/You'd still never walk a day in my shoes"

Pouring out her heart in a song like this, which accompanied by the music provided alongside the track, results in a hauntingly painful experience that we're able to understand through Paris' eyes. This song is one of my favorites on the album, if for nothing more than an honest "cut to the core" song that illuminates a world of which we had no understanding.

Following this song is "Heartbeat", which is a very 80's-sounding but a fun track.

After that one is "Nothing In This World." Similar in tone to "Turn It Up," this song is clearly designed to be a pop-dance song, and its intent is met. Fun song, definitely worth the listen.

That takes us to "Screwed." I'm sure people will find the title of the track comical, especially given some of the reasons for Paris' notoriety. Listen to the song, judge it for yourself. I did, and was rewarded with a really good song. The chorus is:

"Since I'm already screwed/Here's a message to you/My heart's wide open/I'm just not getting through to the lover in you/Yet I'm still hoping/That tonight, tonight, you're gonna turn down the lights/And give me a little more room just to prove it to you/What do I gotta do?"

"Not Leaving Without You" comes next, followed by "Turn You On", and while they're both fun to listen to, they're not my favorites. I think critics of the album, or of Paris in general, will end up using "Turn You On" as their reasoning. It's a pretty safe song with one particular line that sticks out and helps tie the album together:

"Don't care who's watching me, I do just what I would."

Last song on the album is Paris' cover of "Do You Think I'm Sexy", the old song from the 80's. It's not as vain as it seems on paper, and she's very cute when you listen to her sing this song.

It's a nice end to an album that lets us into the world of Paris Hilton without oversaturating us with ideas with which we can't connect. She's every girl in this album, another woman in the world trying to find love and validation, with much higher standards of consequence. It's an album that speaks to everyone, whether through 80's dance-pop tracks, ballads of friendship and loss and heartache, or surprisingly revealing tracks.

In her first album, Paris, she certainly delivers the goods. She knows what's going to sell and what people will likely gravitate towards. You don't build an empire out of a bottle of peroxide. Paris is a calculated woman succesfully steering herself towards a fame that no hotel alone could offer her.

And that, in short, is hot.

Who's This Loser?

2006-08-01T15:06:00.000-04:00

So I was going through old pictures and I happened to find this one from three years ago. I don't really know what I'm trying to accomplish in this picture.

Is it a joke?

I'm clearly attempting to be artsy by taking the picture in sepia and looking like I'm troubled. That doesn't mean it's art. It means it's ridiculous.

Am I trying to look beautiful? What does it mean?

Oh...and I'm being really careful not to look at the camera. Why, I don't know. Maybe because that makes me more attractive? Your guess is as good as mine.

That's not the only picture I pulled out of the archives. Here's another for your delight.

Apparently the "looking in the opposite direction while the picture is being taken" angle is something that I thought was really cool. Here's yet another one where I decided that looking away would make for an artsy picture. Instead I'm standing in warm-up goalie gear outside of a loading dock. And that's not art either. That's stupid.

The next is a picture that I took last summer, on a self-enforced Tie Tuesday with my friend Nicole. We worked in Journeys together, an alternative pseudo-punk sneaker store that you'd usually find in a mall. We decided we'd be classy and once a week we would wear ties to work and really rock the upscale look. That's all fine, but when I decide to pair it with a goofy-looking smile, I lose the credibility. You be the judge.

She's gorgeous. Me? I might as well be drooling. Is my shirt supposed to be that tight? Who knows...

What am I doing? Oh right, I'm skiing. Indoors. And being a tool. Full-time occupation folks, full-time.

Puppies!

2006-08-01T13:53:00.000-04:00

These 2 adorable puppies are named Lilah and Lindsay. They just came home last week to Brian's Aunt Cheryl. They're a Maltese/Japanese Chin mix. I just thought I'd post a picture of what's been taking up so much of my time lately.I planned a puppy party for these little girls to welcome them home and into the family, and we just had that over the weekend on Saturday. How adorable are they?

Elizabeth Bartel

2006-06-26T14:25:00.000-04:00

I want to start this post by saying that I have no
knowledge of art. Read on if you dare.

Now that I've said that, I want to say that my boyfriend Brian's friend, Elizabeth Bartel, is the best artist I have ever seen. I also know that seeing a painting posted on someone's website is not the same as seeing it in person. But I think you'll enjoy seeing some of her paintings, and so with her permission, I'd like to share some with you.

The painting on the left is called Paralyzed. I love it. The colors are so beautiful and so vivid when you see them in person it just takes your breath away. This one is one of Brian's favorites.

I always get amazed when people I know prove themselves to be really talented. Whether it's singing, painting, playing a sport, it's just really cool to learn more about people and see where their talents lie. At the same time, it's so hard not to creep them out by being a fan of their work. I'm not going to make Liz a hair doll, but this girl fascinates me.

The painting on the right, Repose, for me, is almost a completely opposite in terms of the way it makes me feel. I think it's gorgeous, but for very different reasons than Paralyzed. The warm color tones are gone in this one, but there's so much more passion. Liz really has a gift for capturing the female form and giving so much life to it, even in paintings without a lot of movement.

When people ask me why I like hockey so much, it's hard for me to give them an answer. That's the same way that I feel about Liz's work. I know I love it, on some very basic level that I can't really understand. It's very soothing to be in the presence of the stuff I'm looking at when I'm there.

The next painting I wanted to talk about is My Woman, the installation piece on the left. This was the first piece of Liz's work that I had ever been exposed to, and to this day I think it's the piece I'm most impressed by, in terms of sheer ingenuity and creativity.

My Woman is a collection of canvases depicting different parts of a woman showering. It is temporarily (I hope) installed in the corner of her bedroom, with each of the canvases being hung from the ceiling at different levels behind an actual shower door. When the door is opened, the sounds of falling shower water start to play. When you are able to look closely at each individual canvas, you see that any of these pieces could stand alone, outside of the entire piece, as its own painting. When you take in the enormity of the entire piece, it is a really beautiful work.

I think the thing that impresses me most about Liz's paintings is the fact that Liz isn't as impressed by them as I am. The talent is so imbued in her that she doesn't get impressed by her work. She gets happy. And I think that's one of the most gratifying things about knowing Liz, is knowing that the work she gives life to, gives life to her. It makes her happy to create, to get her hands in the paint and just make life.

You can see lots more of her work at her website:

http://phobos.ramapo.edu/~ebartel/lizart/artmainpage.htm

Thanks for taking the time to read my longest blog post yet, I promise I'll give you a short one next time around...

Hockey Update

2006-06-26T14:11:00.000-04:00

So I just posted another shut-out yesterday in my game against the Tuques.

It was a 3-0 victory, bringing our record to 7-4, with only allowing two goals over three games.

The last couple of games have been well-played, and the people I play with are just a great example of what a team really should be.

We're on a bit of a streak, so the pressure is on to do well next week. Stay tuned, the rest of the season is tough, but we're confident we'll end up on top.

That's How I Roll

2006-06-22T12:59:00.000-04:00

Flagstaff, Arizona.
Live Fast, Die Flag.

Picture courtesy of Nicole Heinicke

Love ya Nic. MWAH!

Shows to Watch

2006-06-22T11:58:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I just finished watching "Angel" last night, with David Boreanaz. I've decided to post a couple of shows I really love that you can get on DVD, that I would recommend you watch. They are as follows:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (great writing, solid acting)

Angel (same writer as Buffy, good story lines)

The Simple Life (Seasons 1 and 2, the rest are so-so, and Nicole Ritchie is hilarious)

Saturday Night Live Commercial Parodies (so much fun)

...that's it for now, just a couple of things I wanted to help promote. Especially Buffy.

Pee Pee Demon gives it two thumbs up. <3

The War Is Over

2006-06-22T11:28:00.000-04:00

Ummm...now I'm not one of those people who is going to make a sweeping generalization of an entire group of people.

But you KNOW that these people are freaks.

Hi, it's 2006. So people who participate in Civil War re-enactments, I'm talking to you. THE WAR IS OVER.

I'm also not one of those people who is going to shy away from my past. This business takes place in my hometown every year. Walton, NY.

That's right, every year these freaks descend on my town, on my fairground, and set up tent. Literally. They stage battles of the Civil War and fight with each other and stitch quilts and drink some type of liquor (I'm sure they give it to the kids too, that's how they are), and pretend that they're important.

I think we really need to be displaying the Confederate flag prominently in front of our children. I think that's pretty recommended by child psychologists. You know, set up a sturdy socialization network for your child at an early age. Because children love believing that they're at the Battle of Baton Rouge.

It's creepy, and I think it should be illegal. Why do we need to re-enact the Civil War? I think I heard that the North won, but I'll probably go next year just to make sure. Never can be too sure with those Yanks.

You think the people of Vietnam have re-enactments? Yea...NO.

Civil War re-enactment participants? Get OVER it. The rest of the world has been for over a hundred years.

I Love Kathy Griffin

2006-06-22T10:54:00.000-04:00

Funniest woman alive.

I love Kathy Griffin. If you haven't had the chance to see Kathy live, you need to.

Kathy recently played at the State Theater in New Brunswick, NJ and I had the chance to see her. I laughed consistently for 2 hours straight. And it hurt, but I loved it.

For those of you who are in love with the Bravo network like I am, you already know about "My Life on the D List". That's Kathy's reality show about her life, starring Kathy, her husband Matt, her parents (you'll love them), and her assistant Jessica.

This show is brilliant, because it allows Kathy to be showcased outside of the world of stand-up. The woman is hilarious and I give it my full recommendations for you to watch. And love.

2006-06-17T15:31:00.000-04:00

Don't. Trust. These. Children.

So I went to Great Adventure last Saturday with my boyfriend Brian and his family and it was a really rainy day. Whatever, we decided we'd just go and have fun with it. The rain held out for most of the day, but the kids wanted to go on a water ride. None of the adults wanted to take the kids on and get wet, so me, wearing only jeans and a t-shirt, said what the hell. I'll get wet, as long as the kids have fun.

The littlest girl, Amber, is four years old. She takes my hand and walks me around the outside of the ride, which is essentially just a water trap, with falling water buckets and spraying fountains, etc. I run through some of it, getting a little damp, but again, it's for the kids, so whatever.

Amber is holding my hand the entire time, mind you. She pulls me to a spot and looks up at me and says "Thank you for coming with me" with the most adorable eyes and smile. It's one of those moments where you realize that some children can be really beautiful.

Some. Children.

Well I'm an idiot. Standing there, with Amber holding my hand, she laughs as her brother CJ (pictured above) dumps an entire bucket of water onto me.

Yea, drenched. That's me. Picture provided, as always, for your enjoyment...

So for the rest of the day (in which the temperature dropped dramatically in a very short time) I was walking around like the big idiot in the soaking wet jeans and the too-tight t-shirt. I was really well-behaved about it and didn't complain too much. And if I did, I was allowed.

And maybe I sobbed a little.

So? You don't pay my bills...

...and...

A SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT TO MY SISTER LAUREN...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Truth Found

2006-05-22T10:54:00.000-04:00

"seek truth."

That's the new slogan for truth, a media campaign designed by the American Legacy Foundation in Washington, D.C. in an attempt to lower tobacco initiation rates for youth ages 12-18.

The American Legacy Foundation is an organization that I've worked for/with for the past three years. Our mission is to build a world where young people reject tobacco and anyone can quit.

I've been involved in the tobacco control community since I was 12 (gosh, that's way too long) and I tell people it's one of the most rewarding things in my life. Hockey and non-profit work. Yea, I don't know. I'm weird.

If you want more information about truth or Legacy, log on to www.thetruth.com or www.americanlegacy.org

That's all for today, stick around...

The Bus-turbator

2006-05-11T18:39:00.000-04:00

This is not a story for the weak-stomached.

I hate public transportation. Hate it. One day, I was on the bus on my way to work in New York, when the bus stopped. Buses do that. They stop. Hence the term "bus stop."

An elderly man gets on the bus and sits across the aisle from me. Now, keep in mind, the bus had only two other passengers, driver included. I was sitting towards the back of the bus, which is where I like to sit. I figure, I may have to talk on my phone, and I don't like sitting near people in general. Of all the other seats on the bus, this man chose to sit directly across from me. Weird? Yes.

Cut ahead twenty minutes. One or two other people had boarded the bus, of course sitting nowhere near me. The elderly man, who had probably lived for more than 60 years, looks around and then removes his sweatshirt, dropping it in his lap. Maybe the driver turned on the heat or something. (The driver had NOT turned up the heat. Bear with me.)

The elderly man drops his hand into his lap. At this point, I can't get my cell phone out fast enough, just in case. The elderly man starts massaging his "lap" with his hand. There's squeezing, there's rubbing, there's nausea. (Again, nothing to do with the heat.)

Meanwhile, I'm texting EVERYONE in my cell phone. "WTF, this man is rubbing himself next to me on the bus." Things like "When will death come for me?", etc.

Then I heard a zip.

I get up, move to the middle of the bus, and say to another passenger "Ummm, the man at the back of the bus, he's...." The other passenger cut me off.

"Oh, yea him. He does that all the time."

WHAT. THE. HELL.

How Much Is That Doggy?

2006-05-11T17:54:00.000-04:00

The other day Melissa and I were in the pet shop, so clearly we had to pretend we were shopping. I'm not getting into how depressed pet shops make me, so instead of dwelling, we decided to play with a Yorkie.

We named him Punky Brewster. He's the one on the left.

That's Hot

2006-05-11T16:34:00.000-04:00

Ok, most people hate her. Me? I LOVE her. I think that, in terms of socialites, Paris Hilton is my absolute favorite.

I watched all three season of The Simple Life. People said that show made her look trashy. I said it made her look like Nicole Ritchie. You decide.

Do I LOVE that she has a sex tape? You bet your britches I do. How can you not? The scene where she is being recorded in night vision? Brilliant.

Paris, whatever deal with the devil you have that allowed you to become this well-known (aside from being rich), bravo. You're one classy broad.

And you're hot.

End of story.

Hockey. As I see it.

2006-05-11T13:08:00.000-04:00

I'm a goalie. Pretty cool, right? Well, okay maybe not as cool as I think it is, but I have a good time with it. I've been playing hockey most of my life, and it's totally one of the main things I identify myself as. A hockey player. A goalie.

I'm not just a hockey player, I'm also a really big hockey fan. As far back as I can remember, my life has been filtered through the eyes of the New Jersey Devils. (Hence the jersey ------->)

Right now the Devils (hereafter referred to as "we") are in a tough spot in the playoffs. As I write this, we're down 3-0 in a best of seven series with the Carolina Hurricanes. We swept the Rangers 4-0 in the first round, so going into this series I was really confident. Carolina (however dirty its individual players may be) is a really good team, and even coming off a 15-game winning streak, we still haven't been able to take a game away from them. We'll see how this series ends up, I won't stop watching. I believe...

People always ask me why I love hockey so much. They say it's impossible to find the puck when you watch it on TV, that there are too many rules, that it's boring, etc. I have never been able to come up with an answer to that question. For those who love hockey, no explanation is needed; for those who don't, no explanation will ever do. It's a part of me.

More to come soon...

Whoa.

2006-05-11T12:39:00.000-04:00

Well. Off and running. This is my first blog entry. After months of looking at my friend Kyle's blog and telling myself that I would never do it, I've done it. I have a blog. But I know I can control it. I can quit anytime I want...

I like to type, so if you like to read, well then I think we've just found ourselves a pretty good match.

Stay tuned, I'll get the hang of this blog business.