The War Is Over

Ummm...now I'm not one of those people who is going to make a sweeping generalization of an entire group of people.

But you KNOW that these people are freaks.

Hi, it's 2006. So people who participate in Civil War re-enactments, I'm talking to you. THE WAR IS OVER.

I'm also not one of those people who is going to shy away from my past. This business takes place in my hometown every year. Walton, NY.

That's right, every year these freaks descend on my town, on my fairground, and set up tent. Literally. They stage battles of the Civil War and fight with each other and stitch quilts and drink some type of liquor (I'm sure they give it to the kids too, that's how they are), and pretend that they're important.

I think we really need to be displaying the Confederate flag prominently in front of our children. I think that's pretty recommended by child psychologists. You know, set up a sturdy socialization network for your child at an early age. Because children love believing that they're at the Battle of Baton Rouge.

It's creepy, and I think it should be illegal. Why do we need to re-enact the Civil War? I think I heard that the North won, but I'll probably go next year just to make sure. Never can be too sure with those Yanks.

You think the people of Vietnam have re-enactments? Yea...NO.

Civil War re-enactment participants? Get OVER it. The rest of the world has been for over a hundred years.